How Not To Find Your Soulmate

I know I’m crashing many people’s dreams.  Please don’t stone me.  Although it may be disappointing, knowing the truth of soulmates can free you up in your search for romantic relationship.  (And yes, I know Valentine’s Day is coming up . . .) (Photo by smudie)

You don’t want to seek your soulmate

You know the whole hype the mass media has made about soulmates.  There is one soul that is meant for you, and you are supposed to marry him or her.  You and him or her have promised to do so at the deep soul level many lifetimes ago.  They are also called twin flames.

As you know, I read people’s soul records (Akashic Records) professionally. So, yes, I know about the soulmate contracts.  I come across them occasionally.  When I do, my heart starts sinking with compassion.  And I expect an emotionally-charged phone session.  Because the soulmate contracts, at this time of our spiritual evolution, are outdated and those who are still seeking their soulmates are bound to be disappointed.

It started off on a positive note.  The two souls had such a great relationship that they decided to do it all over again when they’d come back in another lifetime.  And they did.  And the relationship was again good.    And then they came back to this physical world again and did it all over again.  And . . .

At some point, it got old.  When they first meet in the physical world, there is already a sense that they know each other somehow.  In the past, this promoted to form a relationship quickly and kept it secure.  There were plenty of other challenges in life and having a prescribed relationship with someone they already knew on the soul level worked as a safety net.

However, we don’t need this kind of restriction any longer and a lot of souls have noticed it.  They intuitively know they can form intimate relationship with someone new for totally new experiences.  So they have voluntarily cleared the soulmate contract on their own to free themselves.

. . . so long, honey, it’s been good but I’m ready for a new adventure now . . .

What happens when one soul sticks to their soulmate contract

The problem is there are still souls who are literally keeping their side of the soulmate contracts.  They seek and indeed find their soulmates.  They recognize their soulmates as such and woo.  Their soulmates, however, are not interested.  They may feel the familiarity and like their former soulmates, but they are not interested in having yet another intimate relationship with them.

So they keep a distance, messaging “Let’s just be friends.”  The one that’s still keeping the soulmate contract, however, wouldn’t listen and chase their mate.  Sad, unproductive courtship happens.

For the one that’s keeping soulmate contract, this is dissatisfying and frustrating.  For the one that has cleared the soulmate contract, this is very disturbing and confusing.  This person does not dislike their former soulmate – the former soulmate is like an old family member.  Just not romantic.

Sometimes they are already married.  One spouse has noticed the relationship is outdated – it’s not like they don’t love their partners any longer, but they crave freedom and new opportunities.  If they can dissolve the issue somehow, by separation / divorce or by somehow opening up the marriage (whether this involves sex with other people or not), that’s good.  If not, the soul that has cleared the soulmate contract may grow increasingly frustrated to the point that they start resenting their partners.

Soulmates vs soul friends

Soulmates are not the only souls we know from our past lives.  There are other familiar souls that I like to call “soul friends”.  Dr Michael Newton calls them “soul cluster groups” in Journey of Souls.  These souls know each other, may have some agreements, but not a binding contracts like soulmate contracts.  They incarnate at the same time repeatedly to share lifetimes.

You may know your soul friends.  The souls that walk into your life seemingly accidentally but ever so meaningfully.  You just feel so relaxed talking with them, even after a long time of no contact.

For example, in Dr Brian Weiss’ Many Lives, Many Masters, his patient Catherine’s soul friends include the doctor who referred her to Dr Weiss and Dr Weiss himself.

You may or may not want to marry your soul friend.  Sometimes, friends are best kept as friends.

The new meaning of romantic relationship

I think some of us are seeking fundamentally different things in romantic relationships these days.  In the past, relationship was a preparation or trial of becoming and raising a family.  It was for survival.  It was also about learning – learning from each other and through relationship.

Now, for more and more souls, romantic relationship is simply about experiencing love in this physical world.    It’s not about survival – on the contrary, it’s about free expression of love.  Romantic relationship is just that – it really doesn’t matter if it leads to marriage and family, and it doesn’t even have to be about learning.  Just experience what love is like in this physical form.  Period.

I guess most of us are still caught up in the old survival-oriented relationship model that has been the norm in society for thousands of years.  It’s scary to jump to the new type of relationship model based on unconditional love and freedom.  So you may be  tempted to argue that free love is possible and has always existed in the old survival-oriented relationships.  But if so, why do people become so possessive of their partners?

I’m not saying one is better than the other.  I’m saying many souls are waking up and opening to new possibilities.

Like other things I discuss on this blog, don’t just take my word.  If you want to form an exclusive relationship, my blessings go to you.  I know the sense of security feels good, and if your partner is happy about it, too, that is wonderful.  Just don’t bind him or her with mandatory contracts like soulmate contracts

Do you still want to find your soulmate?  Which part of the media story on soulmates ticks you?