Creating The New World, Part 1 Love

Do you create your life freely or do you live within the limits of the existing system? Do you realize you have the power to change the system, and eventually the whole world, when you make a change that is not limited by the existing system?

I want to dream big and write about how we can create the New World based on the foundation of love, light, truth, abundance and power. Because big dreams inspire us and provide us the essential direction of our lives. How can we make the decision of which road to take when we don’t know the big picture and the overall direction?

Plus Ascension provides us the rare opportunity to change. We live in a special time when significant change is possible.

What love is not 

First we need to know what love is. And few words have been abused as badly as the word love.

1. You don’t know what love is if you think unconditional love is special.
If you think there is unconditional love, which is a better kind than other kinds of love, let me ask you: What is love that is not unconditional? What is conditional love?

• I love you if you (lose 10 lb, quit complaining, help me more around the house, etc.)
• If you love me, you would (stop drinking, work harder, etc.)

These are just forms of manipulation, in the name of love. I know most of us have been conditioned with this from childhood, but let’s make it clear this has nothing to do with love.

2. You don’t know what love is if you sacrifice yourself in the name of love.
Love starts with self love. There is just no way to love others while ignoring your own worthiness or letting yourself abused. And if you think self love conflicts with love for others, look around carefully. Love gets stronger with more love. Conflict is an illusion made from the fear of scarcity.

3. You don’t know what love is if you think love is about holding hands and not saying anything uncomfortable.
Uncomfortable to whom? To that person or yourself? You may say you don’t say certain things because you care about that person’s feelings. Well, I care about people’s feelings, too, but I also know that, when someone think in this line, they are usually hiding the truth, and the truth is they don’t say it because it makes themselves uncomfortable.

We sure don’t need to offend people’s feelings unnecessarily. But hiding the truth under the name of love is very unloving.

Loving darkworkers

The last point leads to the issue of darkworkers. It sounds nicer to say that there is no such thing like darkworkers and we are all good loving souls, hug one another, and ignore the energy sucking dramas some of us are acting out. But is it true? And is it helpful even to the darkworkers themselves?

It’s helpful for darkworkers to continue their way, yes. If they are to come back to Light, however, they get the best chance when people around them set up a clear boundary so that the darkworkers cannot get any energy from them. Tough love, sure, but what is the point of covering up their acts?

This is not about fixing them. Let them be who they are but put your self-love in place. Awareness of what is really going on, factually and energetically, is the start of love.

Then what is love?

My definition is love is the awareness that we are valuable for our individual uniqueness and yet we are all part of the whole. I love you for who you are. No need to change unless you yourself wish to change. And together we make a union that is more than the sum.

We are like parts of one body. The kidney is valuable for its unique function, and so is the heart. The heart doesn’t put down the kidney because it deals with urine. Our respective uniqueness is our strength — we don’t need kidney to become more like the heart.

Sometimes, a part of the body starts doing strange things. It starts to suck up energy from the surrounding area, making the area difficult to function fully. We don’t need to hate this part of the body, but we do want to focus on our ability to function fully and give our attention to the working parts, not the malfunctioning parts. This is how we “love” darkworkers.

But what about romantic love and relationship?

I think romantic relationship and family unions in the New World will be very different. I’m not against the idea of romantic love — it’s a beautiful form of love — but I do think the consequent idea of romantic relationship and the institution of marriage are abused badly.

Think for a moment. If the New World operates on the foundation of love:

• Do you need someone to assure your worthiness by being with you?
  Of course you don’t. You already love yourself as you are.
• Do you need someone to promise to be with you for the rest of your life?
  You don’t need to force love and security in such a way. Relationship is best when it is based on free will, at any given time. And forced love is not love, whether it is forced by yourself or by others.
• Do you need to form a secure haven called family?
  If the outside world is a savage cruel place, it makes sense to build a safe small haven, and this has been one of the major function of family. But if the New World is all about love, where is the danger?

So what is the role of romantic relationship and marriage in the New World? While we operate on the big love, it’s also good to form close connections so that we can get to know each other better and we can share ourselves readily. Romantic relationships can be one of those relationships, along with others like friendships.

We’ll loosen up a big time in forming and maintaining romantic relationships. You may have just one partner or multiple of them at any given time in your life. Your living arrangement can be flexible, too, beyond the traditional form of living with your family. If you enjoy being close to others, you may choose to live in something like a co-op that is formed on the basis of shared interest (say, similar eating or exercise habits, or artist co-op that shares studio space, etc). If you like traveling, you can do so. Or you may like solitary living arrangement. Whatever you choose, you are accepted and loved.

Sexuality in the New World

Romantic relationship and marriage are considered to be the only “correct” forms of sexual relationship at this time. So when we loosen up our idea of relationship, what happens? Do we become promiscuous?

First, it’s important to realize that your sexuality is yours. It’s not your partner’s nor of some authority in government or religion. You decide the when, with whom, how. This is especially important for women. Do not let the conventional “you are either a madonna or a whore” idea limit you.

Next let’s admit we get into the act for many reasons other than love and pleasure. Have you had sex with hidden agenda like:

• To prove you are (attractive, strong, worthy of attention, etc.)?
• To control your partner (to keep them to you, to get them do something, etc.)?
• To distract yourself (from boredom, loneliness, frustration at work, etc.)?

All these conditions will be worked out when we operate on the foundation of love. So sex with hidden agenda will go away.

Contrary to the promiscuous sex-overloaded society that some people may have thought when I said “New World based on love”, I think we may have a lot less sex in the New World. When you realize you are free to choose the type of sexual relationship, and you don’t need to bring in hidden agenda — when you choose to have sex just because you feel like it or to share some fun and pleasure with your partner — I think the demand would naturally decrease. Of course, it’s also quite fine if you are into providing joy big time.

How to bring in the New World

First, I want to emphasize it is totally counterproductive to think of the New World as how things SHOULD be. The should mentality, the expectation, automatically put it off to some unknown place in time and space. The time to start the New World is NOW.

Here are some things you can do today to bring in the New World:

1. Forgive yourself and others so that you can start anew. Forgiveness is a form of self love.

2. Live in gratitude. Gratitude is an expression of love. Don’t discuss how important gratitude is; say thank you to your loved ones, to things around you, to nature, to life.

3. Talk about the new way of life with your loved ones — your relationship partner, family, and friends. Embracing the possibility is the first step of actually living it.

4. Allow more and more love in your life. Do you do what you love to do? Do you talk to yourself with kindness even when things turn difficult? Do you spend time with people you really like? Do you express your love in a simple, straight-forward way without fear?

5. For each person you interact with, find some unique gifts they have and tell them how much you appreciate them. We can use a lot of assistance in realizing our beautiful qualities in us.

The “gift” doesn’t have to be some holy, noble, rare quality. For instance, a pretty smile is something we can treasure. (Do you realize how so many people, both men and women, would be delighted to hear how cute they are?)

6. Think more ways to cooperate rather than compete. If you are in business, are there ways you can work with others in the same or related fields that would benefit all involved? If you are studying something, can you also teach each other? Competition is based on scarcity and fear. Cooperation brings in more love and abundance.

7. Try something new. This requires self love and assurance, and in tern reinforces the same. And you will meet more people to love, learn more things to love.

8. Are there people in your neighborhood who would benefit from extra attention and care, such as older people, single parent with small children, etc? Why not strike up a casual conversation and let them know you are happy to help when they need something? You might be delighted to find how something small and easy to do for you can be appreciated so much. Offer your love and kindness freely.

Kids really belong to the “village” and we all want to be looking over them. Your community being safe and operating on love will expand to larger community.

9. When you go shopping, talk with the cashier. Treat the storekeepers like real people. Eventually, get to know them as your friend. Same with the bus drivers, the librarians, the customer service reps who answer your 800 calls, etc.

10. If you are in abusive relationship, whether it is romantic relationship or family situation or work related, please have the courage to leave. You are doing a disservice not just to yourself but to the whole by staying there. First, stop participating in their drama. This will likely make them more abusive in their attempt to get your energy, which will prompt you to leave finally.

11. Again, offer your loving words and actions freely. Let go of your agenda. Let’s talk, hug, kiss, and make love with no expectations but just because. Also, feel free to say no.

Love and the fifth dimension

Some people say the fifth dimension is love. I thought about this — length, width, height, time and . . . love?

What I think is there is no polarity in the fifth dimension. Everything is in alignment, and we call this love. In a sense, polarities have helped us learn our life lessons by providing contrast. But as we progress in Ascension and graduate from the school of life, we don’t need polarity any longer. We can just be. This is the ultimate destination we want to take our New World.

Does this mean we are going back to the original utopia like I described in that article? Not quite. I don’t think nature repeats exactly the same way. In the New World, we will be living in love similar to the original utopia but in a more conscious way.

Do you have more ideas to bring in the New World of love? What do you think of my vision of the New World? Let me know by leaving your comment ^_^  (Photo by carf)

Embrace The Big Questions Worth Spending Your Life For

(Photo by Michael Dawes)

Are you addicted to the quick and easy answers?

We live in the world of instant gratification. Huge questions of love and life are solved usually within 90 minutes in the movie. There are numerous websites that offer answers of all kinds. Or you can just type a question like “What is the meaning of life?” in Google search box. (Seriously – if you haven’t done this yet, try it and see what you get.)

I’m afraid so many people are getting conditioned to this quick and easy answer system that they have largely given up their right and responsibility to seek answers themselves. I was alarmed when I did the key word research for my article The One Word That’s Sucking Up Your Energy Right Now. Here are some of the questions people often ask to Google using this dis-empowering word SHOULD:

• Who should I vote for?
• Where should I live?
• What career should I choose?
• Who should a Gemini date? *
• Should I stay with my boyfriend?
• What should I do with my life?
• What should I make for dinner?
• What should I write on a headstone?

(* Apparently, Geminis ask this “Who should a (zodiac) date?” question most often, followed by Sagittarius. I’m a Gemini myself, but I have no idea why this is so. Do other Geminis really think the internet can answer this question?)

How the quick and easy answers steal your joy and peace.

Let’s say you ask “What career should I choose?” and Google or your career counselor tells you, probably based on some personality or talent tests, that you should become a teacher. So you become one. Do you think you will be happy and confident with your career? Teaching, like any other professions, comes with lots of challenges – your teenage students are distracted and rebellious, administrators are demanding, and there are so many things to do – and the pay isn’t very good. So?

I’m not saying the teaching is not a good profession. The problem in this example is that the foundation of your choice to become a teacher is so weak. On the other hand, I know several people who left high income jobs to go back to school and became teachers. They chose the teaching career because, through their own experiences and search for the meaningful life, they came to realize they wanted to teach. They are happy with their choice because it is a choice they made consciously. And they have peace in them.

My friend Ken beautifully wrote about the joy we find in our life journey in How I Traded My Life For Future Security And How I’m Getting It Back. Again, the search for answer is as valuable as arriving at the answer.

The more challenging the game, the more fun.

There are cases for quick and easy answers. When I buy an electronic gadget, I want to start using it right away. Reading the long manual is no fun, and I really like it when it comes with “Quick Start” instructions. I can learn about additional features later. For now, I want to get things done with this new gadget and then go out for a walk.

But our life is not like stuffs we buy for consumption. We are in life – where do you want to go after you save time and energy by getting the quick and easy answers on critical questions of your life?

Further, just like certain games, life is more fun with challenges. Ask yourself – do you enjoy a game that you know so well and are 100% sure to win, to the point that you know exactly how you win and finish the game? Would you even bother playing it?

Enjoy bearing the big questions.

Recently, I was exchanging emails with Steve at Brip Blap about I Have A Dream . . .. This article did fine as a blog post, but as a meme, it was a total failure. No one sent me articles. Steve asked me if it’s too late to submit his article, so I replied, “You are welcome to participate any time, but let me ask you – do you think the project was too grandiose? Or did I not market it enough?” He says that the project is great but it does take some time to write because it requires good thinking. And in this busy world, few people takes time to think even when they know it is something worth thinking.

Hmm. . . How can I make sense of this? I conclude it was great if the post inspired some people to think about the big dreams of life. It’s okay they didn’t get the answers quickly. Keep asking yourself the big questions.

It’s not just the question of your dream. Find and embrace big questions that are worth spending your life for. Carry the questions, check back often, while you live and enjoy your journey.

The One Word That’s Sucking Up Your Energy Right Now

(Photo by dmalantic)

Your energy you can otherwise utilize to make positive changes in your life and enjoy life more.

Don’t undermine the power of words. We express our ideas with words, and we also create with words. This one word creates illusionary world that never exists anywhere but feels so real. The more you indulge in this illusionary world, the more energy it sucks up from you.

The word is: SHOULD

Let me illustrate how this word works. Does this sound familiar to you?

Jane stops at Starbucks on her way to work. “I’m running late. I should have left earlier.” She orders her regular latte, and after a few seconds of hesitation, also orders a blueberry muffin. “I shouldn’t be eating this. . . I know I should eat healthier. My sister’s wedding is four weeks ahead . . . I should go on a diet.”

When she gets her office, she is indeed late, and her boss gives her a glance. “How un-nice he is. . . I’m just a few minutes late. He should treat me better. Maybe I should look for a new job.” It’s a busy day at the office. During the lunch break, she watches the news in the breakroom. “We really should end the war. The money should be used for our kids’ education. . . “

Now compare it to this revised version.

Jane stops at Starbucks on her way to work. “I’m running late. This happens so often – I will set the alarm five minutes early for tomorrow.” She orders her regular latte, and after a few seconds of hesitation, also orders a blueberry muffin. “Okay, I’m giving in to my sweet teeth. But how can I eat healthier? My sister’s wedding is four weeks ahead . . . I want to lose a few pounds and look nice. ” As she drives to work, she thinks how she can avoid eating too much sweets. Perhaps, it will help if she eats breakfast at home. This means she needs to get up even earlier. She is not sure if she can keep up with it, but she decides to give it a try.

When she gets her office, she is indeed late, and her boss gives her a glance. “Uh-oh, good morning to my cranky boss. I’m a few minutes late.” she says in her mind, and starts working – she doesn’t think of a potential job change as a reaction to her negative experience with her boss. It’s a busy day at the office. During the lunch break, she watches the news in the breakroom. “I think we’ve had enough of this war. It is wiser to use the money for our kids’ education. . . “

Do you notice how the SHOULDs are creating the illusionary world?

Things are either IS or ISN’T, but never SHOULD. Jane is late for work because she left the house late. Thinking she “should have” left earlier doesn’t change this fact. This morning’s lateness is already a done-deal. So move on, and if she really doesn’t like running late, think how she can do it differently tomorrow morning, and do it.

Likewise, she is either eating the blueberry muffin or she isn’t. Thinking she “shouldn’t be” eating it doesn’t change the fact nor the muffin’s calorie. But when she thinks she shouldn’t be eating it, her mind goes to the false world of should’s. First she counts all the reasons why she should be eating healthier. She might go ahead and conclude that, now that she knows better, she should be able to eat better. In the wonderful world of should’s, she immediately becomes slim, and boom, suddenly her mind comes back to reality and shocks her. She asks herself, “I ate the blueberry muffin? How could I?” She laments the reality for not living up to the beauty of the world of should’s. “I should have known better.”

Preserve your mental energy for real life.

When our minds are occupied with the ideas of how things should or shouldn’t be, we are pouring our precious energy into this illusionary world. Again, the world of should’s feels so important and real. It feels as if it were just there an arm’s length away and we could grab it by pouring a bit more thought energy into it. All the perfect should’s: What we should do. How people should act. How the world should be. We can spend hours – or even our whole life – thinking about these should’s. And nothing would change.

If we want to change something, we first need to realize and accept how it is. Then we intend to change it – in this real world, not in the illusionary world of should’s. We come up with a goal, make a plan how to change it, and implement the plan. Goals are typically described with WILL, not SHOULD.

Or maybe we don’t need to change it. We don’t need to change every little things that are not quite pleasing. And it is certainly not mine to change the way you are – it is yours. (Unless you ask me to help you.) So I’ll just enjoy what I have rather than wasting my energy thinking how you or something should be.

Word game that makes a difference.

There may be cases where the word SHOULD is justly used, but I am assuming we can do away with 90% or more of it. Make it a habit to check if you are in the nowhere land of should’s, and when you notice you are, reword the should to is or isn’t to come back to reality. This may sound like a silly word game, but it works. Don’t you think Jane in the second scenario will do so much better?

Use your energy wisely to either make the real change or just enjoy what is.

What is your story of how XXXX should be?

Further reading: Note that MLK didn’t say how America SHOULD be, but said WILL be, and state your own dream. I Have A Dream. . .

Another related reading: Bust another guilt-inducing word HAVE TO. Releasing the Energy of Obligation.

Thanks to Jirel for including this post in Carnival of Inspiration and Motivation.