Coaching The Freedom Of Self-Employment: Tom Volkar

We continue to interview inspiring and successful entrepreneurs here at Yes to Me, and this time, I didn’t have to look far for the perfect interview guest. Tom Volkar, Career Coach from CoreU Coaching and Delightful Work has been a steady commenter at Yes to Me. Just like myself, he helps new and aspiring entrepreneurs to have the business of their dreams. He recently made a community call, which attracted many bloggers. (Photo by leefotos)

1. Tell us a bit about your business and why you started it.

I began my career as a soloprenuer in 1998, first as an inspirational speaker and corporate vision consultant. This was soon after closing an earlier entrepreneurial, entertainment business that resulted in me losing everything, including my home. My marriage of 19 years ended then when I refused to go back to a 23-year career in sales.

Once again, on the trail of pursuing work that I loved, a guy came out of the audience, after a talk I’d given and asked if I’d ever done any coaching. I coached his wife on discovering career fulfillment and found it far more satisfying than speaking; thus my coaching business was born.

I started the speaking business because I valued doing what I loved more than anything. Yet if I hadn’t walked down the corridor of speaking, the coaching door may not have serendipitously opened.

CoreU Coaching was initially a life coaching business where I delivered every kind of coaching imaginable, including: corporate executives, relationship coaching and coaching for supervisors in manufacturing plants. But the clients, who always gave me the greatest thrills, were budding entrepreneurs who were preparing to make the leap to self-employment. So In September 07, I began writing my Delightful Work blog, which is dedicated to that community. I coach, write and create courses and programs to support those who want to be their own boss.

2. What were the three biggest challenges when you were starting off as a new entrepreneur?

My first entrepreneurial enterprise in 1992 was for a brick and mortar business. The challenges were different than for my coaching business. I successfully raised 2.5 million dollars, so it was necessary to get dozens of lenders, investors and vendors to buy into in my vision, since it was never done before. My biggest challenge in that business was in finding and presenting existing business models that gave these supporters confidence.

In my coaching business the challenges were more internal and consisted of trusting myself and working through the underlying fears that developed around the lack of time and money. In chronological order here were my biggest challenges.

1. Not completely following my core values, allowed me to be lured by projects that looked financially promising but were not authentically aligned with who I was.
2. I fought prevailing wisdom to niche myself for far too long because I thought it would limit the work I’d receive and cause me to earn less.
3. I allowed my fear of learning technology to get in the way of my business growth.

3. And how did you work through these challenges?

Values Un-aligned Projects – I worked through this one the hard way, by continuing to say yes to opportunities that looked good but did not turn out well for me. If we beat our heads against the same wall long enough, the pain awakens us. Lesson learned: Not everything works for everyone in the same way. If you have to fight it to work it, the resistance will stop the money from flowing.

Committing to a Niche – After yet another misguided decision in challenge one, I finally said the hell with it and made a sacred vow to commit to marketing myself as an expert only in the area that brings me most alive. That is inspiring and encouraging the leap to the freedom of self-employment. Lesson learned: Committing to one niche does not limit the work we receive. I am still presented with opportunities to coach in other areas. But commitment allows us to approach mastery in the area we care about the most. And mastery leads to greater propsperity in fulfillment and in finances.

Fear of Technology – I worked through this fear using Emotional Freedom Technique and a decision-making technique that I learned in Eckhart Tolle’s, The Power of Now. Essentially I had to release limiting beliefs about my ability to learn technology, while at the same time accepting that the Internet had become an essential component of business building. Lesson Learned: Even though we are more naturally suited to learning some concepts than others. Our resistance is unnaturally created by fear not by original makeup.

4. What is the best part of being an entrepreneur for you?

Total autonomy is the best part of being an entrepreneur. I view employment as mental and emotional slavery. Each of us holds the key to remove our own shackles. Having the total freedom to decide what I work on, the projects I create, the self-determination to work when I feel like working and to work in service to who I most want to serve: that is the liberty of entrepreneurship that I hold most dear.

5. Any advice for people who dream to have their own business and yet find it hard to make the leap?

There are four essential realizations that are required understanding.

1). No one can build your unique business like you can. Your best guess about what that is, is far better than any outside expert’s opinion. Tap the expertise of those who have actually been in the arena, for their encouragement, methods and tools. But look to yourself in matters of decision-making.

2). Quit dreaming and thinking – instead act. Find a way to get into action, even if it’s part time. You cannot see what doors may open (like the doorway to my coaching) until you walk down the corridor. Get out of your own head and into action. You can always adapt on the fly. It may not seem comforting but no one ever figures it all out first. That’s a myth.

3). Carefully choose your sources of support. Advice from others, even from those who love you, needs to be taken with a grain of salt. They can’t see things from your perspective. They aren’t aware of your desires and strengths. No one else can intuitively understand what you know about yourself. For support, find a community of budding entrepreneurs who are feeling what you’re feeling.

4). Don’t let the search for the perfect pre-existing career slow you down. You may not find perfect, pre-existing, authentic work created by another. You may need to blend all of your special strengths, peculiarities and values together, to build your own empire.

My Takeaway

I totally agree with the importance of authenticity! I also like his advice on how to choose the supports and advice with care. The moral encouragement from friends and family is nice, but if they are not entrepreneurs themselves, do take it with a grain of salt. That kind of free advice can cost you a lot in terms of your time or missed opportunities. So thank them with grace, and find other entrepreneurs and real pros for advice.

Is Hiring a Coach Worth the Money?

(Photo by ecstaticist)

Would you pay $300 a month to increase your productivity so that you can make multiple of that amount?

This is what Steve Pavlina says he did in his post Life Coaching. As a business owner, the amount of money he would make was dependent on his performance, and his coach helped him work smarter. Christine O’Kelly, another entrepreneur, also claims she tripled her sales leads by working with her coach.

If you are facing difficult situations at work or in life, a coach may be the sidekick you need for the breakthrough. It is an investment in yourself. And the changes you make in your life with the help of a coach are yours to keep, benefiting you even after you stop working with the coach.

The objective of this post is not necessarily to promote my coaching business (Update: I don’t offer the regular life coaching any more.  My Akashic Record Reading has grown to be my main work) but rather to inform you of a good way to choose a coach if and when you are interested. No one knows coaches like professional coaches, you know.

Just a cautionary disclaimer. . .

The most important point to understand in hiring a coach (and in life in general) is to understand you are the owner of your life. You have the free will, and what you choose to do is what brings in results. Steve and Christine took actions after they talked with their coaches, and that is what brought their successes.

If you are still playing the victim game and not yet up to the responsibilities of your own life, it is probably not a good time to hire a coach.

When would you benefit most from hiring a coach?

I think there are two major situations in life that you would benefit so much from working with a coach:

1. When you want to make a big positive change in your life.
   Like starting and growing your business, as Steve says. Or when you want to make a career change that better suit your values. Or when you are changing your lifestyle. In such situations, a coach can offer a good perspective and guide the way so that you can achieve the goal efficiently without getting into dead ends.
2. When you are faced with a big question in life and your existing support system is not enough.
   For example, you may have lived as atheist but are feeling more and more interested in spirituality. You, however, find it uncomfortable to just go to a church and talk to a priest . . . you don’t want to be taken in by the organized religion. Even talking to your friends who have certain faith may not feel right. In such a case, a caring but detached spiritual coach can be a great person to talk to.Another example is when you need to make a decision that can affect your family so much that they are not the most appropriate people to talk first. Maybe you want to quit working for your family business and move to the other side of the continent to pursue your dream. Maybe you want to go back to school, which will affect the family finance seriously.

Once you (not your coach, but YOU) make the decision, you might find your coach helpful in your effort to implement the change, as explained above.

How to choose the coach who is right for YOU

One of the best ways is referral. If your friend has worked with a coach and he or she is happy with that coach, ask for that coach’s name and check if they offer a trial session.

If you don’t know anyone, here are four steps to find the coach that best matches your needs:

1. Search by the niche.

Each coach has a niche that he or she specializes in. For instance, if you want to start your own business, search for entrepreneurship or small business coach. There are all kinds of coaches – career coach, relationship coach, mid-life crisis coach, grief coach. . . You can just Google, or use the coach referral services.

2. Pre-Qualify the coach by checking their websites.

Most coaches have websites, some write blogs, too. So while you are doing the online search, read what they have to say, and see if you feel affinity with them. Person-to-person chemistry is important for successful coaching.

3. Choose the coach who thinks differently.

For example, some of us are good at analytical thinking , others are at creative thinking, technical thinking, or people thinking. It is easy to surround yourself with people who think in similar ways. You agree on a lot of things. When it comes to hiring a coach, however, intentionally choose the one whose brain circuit is different from yours.

Steve emphasizes this point in his aforementioned post this way:

“When I first came to him, I was extremely left-brained, and he helped me integrate more right-brained qualities into my decision making. In the long run, this was very beneficial to me.”

This step may sound contradictory to step #2 above. It does not. Affinity is about the deeper level of personality. Your gut feeling will direct you to the coach with the personality makeup you feel most comfortable with. Your brain should choose the coach who challenges you to grow further.

4. Ask how the coach keeps learning and growing.

The best coach is the one who is committed to the personal growth themselves. Ask what kind of books they read, if they are taking any classes or workshops, and if they have a coach themselves. Many of these points are probably addressed in their websites, but if not, don’t hesitate to ask before you sign up.

Take charge of your coaching relationship.

It is critical to understand that you are in charge of the coaching relationship. It is you who present your challenges and determine your goals. Further, your will get the most from your coaching sessions by bringing in the topic of discussion. And you are responsible for taking actions. Your coach will hold you accountable, and many clients find this invaluable in achieving their goals, but ultimately, you are the one who does the work! And this is wonderful – you deserve the credits to your success.

The value of having your coach is the value you seek in your life by clarifying the issues and implementing the changes. I hope you all find joy and contentment, as well as worldly success, in your life.

Update on Oct 19, 2008: Steve Pavlina now offers coaching himself. The last time I checked, he was asking for $500 per hour. The most expensive coach I know so far is Steve Hardison. He charges $150,000 for 100 hours, so it’s $1500 per hour, but it must be paid in full upfront and it’s non-refundable for whatever reason.

If You Want To Become An Entrepreneur, Be With Entrepreneurs

(Photo by Leefotos)

So you want to become an entrepreneur. Question: How many successful entrepreneurs do you know?

Not someone you know in the news, not someone you just know as customer, someone who can tell you what it really is to be an entrepreneur – friends or family members who are successful entrepreneurs.

Aaron at Today is that Day has a thought-provoking article titled Are You Building a Winning Team or Running a Daycare Center? He points out how our environment, including the people we associate with, affects our mind and feeling, and to some extent determines the course of our life. He says:

You need to ask yourself if your surroundings are conductive to actually attaining those goals. Do you work, live, or play in an environment or with a group of people who are constantly building you up and believing in your greatness, or do your surroundings serve instead to remind you of what you don’t want to have in your life?

He goes on to check if your circle of friends are aligned to such goals as fitness, relationship, and financial success. Now let me add to it that becoming a successful entrepreneur is no exception to this rule.

This is a requirement of becoming an entrepreneur: Be with successful entrepreneurs.

Surround yourself with successful entrepreneurs who can tell you what it is like to be an entrepreneur and who will trust your potential as they have trusted theirs themselves. Spend as much time as possible with them. Learn how to think as an entrepreneur.

I know this is difficult. You are probably employed as professional now, so you spend majority of your time with other employees. And let me remind you – no matter how high up someone is in the corporate ladder, an employee is an employee. They have employee mindset. I used to work for a president of a sizable company (who managed three locations in the US). He was very knowledgeable of the business, he had strong leadership, and yet he was an employee. He made a great president, working for the parent company, but he is not an entrepreneur. (In some companies, president may be working for the board – same thing, he is a high-end employee, not entrepreneur.) Your challenge is how to associate with real entrepreneurs and learn the mindset of entrepreneur while you may be working as employee.

You are very lucky if someone in your family is an entrepreneur. In my case, my father was an entrepreneur. He started his business when I was six, so I grew up watching what it is like. In a sense, I started working at age six. It was time before the answering machine, so I took calls when he was out making sales calls. He never paid me, but I earned some tips. . . (Wouldn’t you be impressed with a six-year-old girl speaking with highest degree of politeness answering calls and taking their name and number? Or doing the basic shipping and receiving, counting the number of packages before signing off the paperwork? Oh, this was back in Japan. I know, in the US, kids are not even allowed to be themselves without adults. . .) I also watched how he deals with his customers and venders. He didn’t teach me anything (because I was a girl, not a boy – I know, I wish he had better attitude), but still I learned. I also figured why he has more time and money, and more flexibility of spending his time and money, than other kids’ fathers. . .

What are your options if nobody in your close circle of friends and family are entrepreneurs?

You need to seek them out. Seek them in social clubs and professional associations. Hire a mentor or coach. (There is a difference between a mentor and a coach. A mentor is someone who has been successful in specific area of your interest. The strength of a mentor is their specific knowledge and experiences. The potential drawback is they would tend to draw you to the direction they believe to be right, which may or may not fit your personal aspirations and personality. On the other hand, a coach is your detached thinking partner. Most coaches have a niche, but it doesn’t necessarily mean they are the big shot in that field. The strength of a coach is their professional communication skills supported by the ability to remain caring yet detached and objective. Coaches are trained to be client-centered.)

I also encourage you to check this blog often because – in addition to me, myself, who is an entrepreneur – I will be writing about and interviewing successful entrepreneurs I know.

You need to change the way you think, feel, and act to become a successful entrepreneur.

It is a fundamental shift from that of employee. And you can’t just learn it intellectually like your learn how to write business plans. You need to learn experientially.

And please introduce yourself by leaving comment!

Whether you are just dreaming of having your business, or quite serious about going independent, or maybe already launched your business, please introduce yourself. Let’s build an online community of aspiring entrepreneurs.

If you like this post, please check the Interview with Successful Entrepreneurs.

Thanks to Aaron for including this post in Doing It Differently Carnival.