Freeing Ourselves From Dualism

Do you believe in dualism? That there are two opposing powers in this world fighting against each other? Such as light vs dark or good vs evil?

After writing about darkworkers, I feel obliged to write about the issue of dualism. Because darkness doesn’t really exist and understanding this is the key to freedom. (Photo credit)

Fighting against darkness is futile

I understand the idea of light vs dark, or God vs Saturn, is thousands of years old in the Christian tradition. Many other religions and cultures have similar concept of dualism.

It is so ingrained in our collective thinking that few people stop and think what darkness really is.

Can you show me darkness? I mean, a substance that causes darkness?

You cannot. Dark is simply the absence of light. You can show me light, but darkness is always a matter of comparison.

So, then, what does it mean to fight against darkness?

It’s a fight against the shadows on the wall. It may look huge and scary, but it’s only a shadow. And naturally, no one — no superman, no super psychic, not even “the one” — can win in this battle. Of course not. It’s just a shadow, an illusion.

Perhaps I am confusing some people. Didn’t I just write about darkworkers? But if you go back and check that article, you notice that my definition of a darkworker, or negative soul, is the soul that is moving away from Light and therefore draining energy from other people. Notice there is nothing about darkness in the definition. And yes, at this time, such souls exist. But darkness doesn’t.

Darkness is something we make up in our mind. It is us who is giving life to the illusion of darkness, just like small kids give life to the shadow on the wall.

It’s time we notice this and wake up.

How to get out of the dualism

It’s actually quite simple. Live in the here and now. Accept everything in the here and now completely with no comparison.

When do you feel the push and pull battle of light and dark, or good and evil? Let’s say you have an important exam tomorrow. You feel you should study tonight — that’s the good, considerate thing to do, right? On the other hand, you are tempted to go to a bar and just goof off. Ah, your lazy, evil twin who gets you in trouble! And what if you start thinking how you can cheat? Now that’s really bad, right?

Do you see it’s your mind playing this game? Your mind (or your ego) can go to a great length in this game. Drawing from your past experiences, your mind casts a grim image of you failing the exam if you don’t prepare for it. It also casts an image of success, which is just as hollow — it’s just expectation, not reality.

The reality is — you are. Period.

Our souls don’t care if something is good or bad. We came to this world to experience. If we don’t like certain experience, that’s just that. Next. If we like certain experience, that’s just that, too. Next. No judgment. They just are.

Seeing life this way may take a bit of getting used to until you get the hang of it. But really, getting out of the dualism is fast and easy. You just see things as they are with no mental chatter.

Reviewing dualities in your life

I encourage you to review what you have thought to be duality. Are they real? Or is one side of duality really non-existent, like darkness?

I think the only true dualities are the technical polarities, like positive and negative charge of electricity or cars moving either direction of the road. In such cases, there is no value judgement. Driving up north or down south are neither better nor worse by itself. While the word “negative” may sound bad, negative charge of electricity is just that — it’s not good or bad. Sometimes, negative is a good thing. When your doctor runs a blood test to see if you are infected with a disease, a negative result is a good news.

Just one more thought on duality

When you examine your idea of duality, you may also notice that some so-called dualities are not opposite but more like pairs.

Men and women are good example of this case. They have different sexual organs, supported by different sexual hormones and genes. In the formation of a new life, they play different roles. However, they are both humans and share a lot of qualities as humans. Men and women are not opposite to each other that forms duality. If they are, when a female manager replaces a male manager, it should cause 180 degree change effects to the organization, for instance. Like putting a battery backwards.

We deal with this kind of fake dualities all the time. Just because two groups of people or two ideas are very different doesn’t mean they are opposite and polarized. Some examples are body and mind, thinking and feeling, rich and poor and meat eaters and vegetarians.

Obviously, there is no reason at all to fight over this kind of non-polarized fake dualities.

What kind of duality controls you? Let me know in the comment

What If Everything That Happens To You Is Good?

I guess the common sentiment we have about life is, “Well, there are good things and bad things that happen in life. We can’t help it. Just enjoy the good and lie low when bad things happen.”

So we are grateful when we receive “good” things like loving relationships, friends and family, foods on the table and the roof over the head, the money that gets these good things, the job — the income source, health, long life, and so on.

And we don’t like “bad” things like loneliness, relationship problems, hunger, poverty, job loss, obesity, illness, disability, aging, and death. We don’t even like thinking about them, and when it happens, we are upset, confused, resentful, and wish they go away ASAP.

This is just natural, right?

The challenge of the hypothesis

My spirit guides challenged me a few weeks ago (the week before my moving, to be exact) with the question, “What if everything that happens to you is good?” I immediately knew this is right, but it took me a while to put it into reason.

“Like EVERYTHING?” You may be thinking. “What is good about a psycho boyfriend / girlfriend, or hopeless poverty, or painful disease?”

Well, yes. They are good because they are great learning opportunities. You didn’t bring it up to reality if they were no good. (Remember you are creating your own life and the world?)

Now when I say “learning opportunities”, there are mainly two things we can learn. One is the life lessons and associated lessons. We don’t have to learn them the hard way, but many of us do choose so. We have discussed this into detail already on this Yes to Me blog.

Another is the crooked thinking patterns we have. These “bad” things are like an alarm going off, “There is something kinked up in you, please take a look!” Alarm is annoying but not bad.

Let me put it this way. God sends us love, love, and more love. Unconditionally. They are all good. But some gifts are a bit different. God may be sending you a bit of herbal medicine or a gift card to chiropractor because God noticed there is something about you that needs care, even if you may not have noticed. And you complain that the medicine tastes bad or you are too busy to go to the chiropractor.

Now I got tested about this hypothesis right away. . .

What is a traffic ticket trying to say?

On my first moving day (I spent two days moving, first doing the move in, then doing the move out with movers carrying my furniture), I was driving on a freeway and just casually tried to change my lane. I guess I wasn’t looking well enough. The car on the fast lane horned, I got back to my lane, and . . . well, the police car was right behind me.

Few things are more embarrassing and annoying than getting a traffic ticket. And seeing an angry cop’s face in the rear-view mirror.

So what is good about this? I need to learn how to drive safe? Well, maybe that’s included, but that’s not all.

After I was released, I was talking to myself. I actually talked aloud in my car because I wanted to see how this worked:

Akemi 1: So what is good about this traffic ticket? This just sucks.

Akemi 2: Well, let’s see. Why do you think it’s bad?

Akemi 1: Because I hate cops.

Akemi 2: He wasn’t too bad. I’d say he treated me quite fairly — he didn’t yell or do something intimidating. He was just doing his job, and even if you don’t like him, so what? It’s not like you have to marry him.

Akemi 1: This is going to be on my driving record. (And on my Akashic Records, too!) And I have to pay the fine.

Akemi 2: Yes, it will take up some of my time, depending on what you want to do with it. We can go to the court or we can just pay it.

Akemi 1: I hate paying the fine! And it’s not just the fine, the auto insurance premium will go up, too, you know.

Akemi 2: Yes, but we can pay.

Akemi 1: I . . . I’m afraid. It will cost a lot. Insurance is expensive.

At this point, I stopped and thought. So aside from the emotional unpleasantness (which is only temporary), what’s really bothering me is the financial concern? Really?

Our hidden fear and why we hold onto it

Now I know that, when we have fear, it’s because we are holding onto it. Most fears are temporary — like, you may get serious fear if another car comes too close to you, but that goes away pretty quickly. And we are holding onto the fear because we are afraid of something else that may come if we let go of the first fear. So in this crooked logic, holding onto the first fear feels safer.

Akemi 2: Are you afraid of becoming poor? But it’s not likely we become poor with one traffic ticket. What is the real issue? Am I getting something by holding onto this fear of poverty?

Akemi 1: . . .

Akemi 2: Does being concerned about money make you feel safe? What’s going to happen if I release this fear of poverty?

The answer that came out of my own mouth surprised me.

Akemi 1: . . . I might become wildly rich.

Gee. Really. But it seems true. Fear of wealth is far bigger than fear of poverty. I wasn’t aware of this before.

Opportunity to examine your fear

Fear of wealth or fear of success is a tricky one. We use lack of money or opportunity as an excuse of not living a great life. I think many of us are secretly afraid of living a full happy life even when we say the complete opposite. It involves a huge responsibility to oneself (to God) to live that way.

Are you doing something similar to what I was doing? Are you afraid of releasing your crazy partner (or afraid of getting out of the pattern of having relationship with crazy partners, therefore switching from one crazy one to another) because without them, you are faced with yourself, and you have no distraction nor excuse not to express your great self and live your life purposefully?

Are you holding onto your health problem and your fear of recovering to great health because, without the health problem, you have little to complain and commiserate, and you are afraid of losing people’s attention? And because you are afraid you may have a miraculous healing power science hasn’t uncovered yet? And again, without the disease, you have no excuse not to live a great life?

I guess I may be upsetting some people especially with the last one. I’m not a doctor and I don’t claim to know your health condition nor your possibility to recover. I do have a feeling many people cling to their condition as an excuse. One of my Spirit Guides Coaching client was this way. Her spirit guides was urging to let go of certain things, but she was absolutely against it. Just to be sure, I asked her about her medical diagnosis, and all she could say was something that happened more than 20 years ago. She was taking full advantage of her (past) health problem and was nowhere near releasing it, even though she insisted the opposite.

So what really happens if everything that happens to you is good?

Then you just have to accept this universe is absolutely benevolent and loving. There is just no way you don’t live as an empowered free soul, expressing your gifts and strengths, and living a full life of love and joy. No point about complaining, fighting, accusing, or even “working on the problem” — we can just go straight to the point and live our life fully.

My feeling is that, in the past, our awareness was not clear enough to see this so we perceived certain things as “bad” based on superficial consequences. However, we are growing up to see the bigger picture.

When our awareness really grows, everything starts to look really good, even without thinking, “Okay, this may be a learning opportunity. . .” We get to be grateful for everything there is. We get to see everything as the divine gifts that they are. That, my friends, is the entrance to the heaven on Earth. (Photo credit)