What If Everything That Happens To You Is Good?

I guess the common sentiment we have about life is, “Well, there are good things and bad things that happen in life. We can’t help it. Just enjoy the good and lie low when bad things happen.”

So we are grateful when we receive “good” things like loving relationships, friends and family, foods on the table and the roof over the head, the money that gets these good things, the job — the income source, health, long life, and so on.

And we don’t like “bad” things like loneliness, relationship problems, hunger, poverty, job loss, obesity, illness, disability, aging, and death. We don’t even like thinking about them, and when it happens, we are upset, confused, resentful, and wish they go away ASAP.

This is just natural, right?

The challenge of the hypothesis

My spirit guides challenged me a few weeks ago (the week before my moving, to be exact) with the question, “What if everything that happens to you is good?” I immediately knew this is right, but it took me a while to put it into reason.

“Like EVERYTHING?” You may be thinking. “What is good about a psycho boyfriend / girlfriend, or hopeless poverty, or painful disease?”

Well, yes. They are good because they are great learning opportunities. You didn’t bring it up to reality if they were no good. (Remember you are creating your own life and the world?)

Now when I say “learning opportunities”, there are mainly two things we can learn. One is the life lessons and associated lessons. We don’t have to learn them the hard way, but many of us do choose so. We have discussed this into detail already on this Yes to Me blog.

Another is the crooked thinking patterns we have. These “bad” things are like an alarm going off, “There is something kinked up in you, please take a look!” Alarm is annoying but not bad.

Let me put it this way. God sends us love, love, and more love. Unconditionally. They are all good. But some gifts are a bit different. God may be sending you a bit of herbal medicine or a gift card to chiropractor because God noticed there is something about you that needs care, even if you may not have noticed. And you complain that the medicine tastes bad or you are too busy to go to the chiropractor.

Now I got tested about this hypothesis right away. . .

What is a traffic ticket trying to say?

On my first moving day (I spent two days moving, first doing the move in, then doing the move out with movers carrying my furniture), I was driving on a freeway and just casually tried to change my lane. I guess I wasn’t looking well enough. The car on the fast lane horned, I got back to my lane, and . . . well, the police car was right behind me.

Few things are more embarrassing and annoying than getting a traffic ticket. And seeing an angry cop’s face in the rear-view mirror.

So what is good about this? I need to learn how to drive safe? Well, maybe that’s included, but that’s not all.

After I was released, I was talking to myself. I actually talked aloud in my car because I wanted to see how this worked:

Akemi 1: So what is good about this traffic ticket? This just sucks.

Akemi 2: Well, let’s see. Why do you think it’s bad?

Akemi 1: Because I hate cops.

Akemi 2: He wasn’t too bad. I’d say he treated me quite fairly — he didn’t yell or do something intimidating. He was just doing his job, and even if you don’t like him, so what? It’s not like you have to marry him.

Akemi 1: This is going to be on my driving record. (And on my Akashic Records, too!) And I have to pay the fine.

Akemi 2: Yes, it will take up some of my time, depending on what you want to do with it. We can go to the court or we can just pay it.

Akemi 1: I hate paying the fine! And it’s not just the fine, the auto insurance premium will go up, too, you know.

Akemi 2: Yes, but we can pay.

Akemi 1: I . . . I’m afraid. It will cost a lot. Insurance is expensive.

At this point, I stopped and thought. So aside from the emotional unpleasantness (which is only temporary), what’s really bothering me is the financial concern? Really?

Our hidden fear and why we hold onto it

Now I know that, when we have fear, it’s because we are holding onto it. Most fears are temporary — like, you may get serious fear if another car comes too close to you, but that goes away pretty quickly. And we are holding onto the fear because we are afraid of something else that may come if we let go of the first fear. So in this crooked logic, holding onto the first fear feels safer.

Akemi 2: Are you afraid of becoming poor? But it’s not likely we become poor with one traffic ticket. What is the real issue? Am I getting something by holding onto this fear of poverty?

Akemi 1: . . .

Akemi 2: Does being concerned about money make you feel safe? What’s going to happen if I release this fear of poverty?

The answer that came out of my own mouth surprised me.

Akemi 1: . . . I might become wildly rich.

Gee. Really. But it seems true. Fear of wealth is far bigger than fear of poverty. I wasn’t aware of this before.

Opportunity to examine your fear

Fear of wealth or fear of success is a tricky one. We use lack of money or opportunity as an excuse of not living a great life. I think many of us are secretly afraid of living a full happy life even when we say the complete opposite. It involves a huge responsibility to oneself (to God) to live that way.

Are you doing something similar to what I was doing? Are you afraid of releasing your crazy partner (or afraid of getting out of the pattern of having relationship with crazy partners, therefore switching from one crazy one to another) because without them, you are faced with yourself, and you have no distraction nor excuse not to express your great self and live your life purposefully?

Are you holding onto your health problem and your fear of recovering to great health because, without the health problem, you have little to complain and commiserate, and you are afraid of losing people’s attention? And because you are afraid you may have a miraculous healing power science hasn’t uncovered yet? And again, without the disease, you have no excuse not to live a great life?

I guess I may be upsetting some people especially with the last one. I’m not a doctor and I don’t claim to know your health condition nor your possibility to recover. I do have a feeling many people cling to their condition as an excuse. One of my Spirit Guides Coaching client was this way. Her spirit guides was urging to let go of certain things, but she was absolutely against it. Just to be sure, I asked her about her medical diagnosis, and all she could say was something that happened more than 20 years ago. She was taking full advantage of her (past) health problem and was nowhere near releasing it, even though she insisted the opposite.

So what really happens if everything that happens to you is good?

Then you just have to accept this universe is absolutely benevolent and loving. There is just no way you don’t live as an empowered free soul, expressing your gifts and strengths, and living a full life of love and joy. No point about complaining, fighting, accusing, or even “working on the problem” — we can just go straight to the point and live our life fully.

My feeling is that, in the past, our awareness was not clear enough to see this so we perceived certain things as “bad” based on superficial consequences. However, we are growing up to see the bigger picture.

When our awareness really grows, everything starts to look really good, even without thinking, “Okay, this may be a learning opportunity. . .” We get to be grateful for everything there is. We get to see everything as the divine gifts that they are. That, my friends, is the entrance to the heaven on Earth. (Photo credit)

Our Addiction To Judgments And Problems

It’s been a week since I moved to a little gem of a town called Eugene, Oregon. The whole experience was, in a sense, more fundamentally moving than coming to the U.S. I’m in cultural shock. I’m humbled. I’m amazed. . . (Photo credit)

World migrant gets a surprise

Just to give you an idea, this is where I have lived in my life so far:

• Japan
• Sydney, Australia (1 year as a high school exchange student)
• Columbus, Ohio (10 years)
• Nashville, Tennessee (3 years)
• Portland, Oregon (2 years)

The last three are all in the United States, but crossing the Mason-Dixon Line was like crossing an invisible cultural border between the North and the South (it is still referred to as the Union and the Confederate in the South.) And west of the Rockies is quite another, too — I’m pretty sure the west coast states don’t consider themselves as part of the continental America. . . or as part of America at all.

So you would think, for a world migrant like Akemi, moving 100 miles to Eugene is a breeze. Some physical work to do, but emotionally, it’s no big deal, right?

Boy, no way.

The first shock came when I first visited this apartment complex. The leasing manager showed me a few open units. I noticed she just simply open the door without the key, and when we were done, she just closed the door. So I asked if she locked the open units at night and her answer was no.

You know, I’ve been working since I was six years old, and locking up the office and the storage unit was part of my responsibility. Coming to the US, I was told to be even more watchful against potential crimes. And here you are, meeting a middle-aged manager who seems to be quite conventional otherwise, never thinking twice of not locking the apartments. She swears nothing ever happened, even when she had leased furniture inside for corporate relocation.

. . . well, I signed up and now live in one of her townhouse. I still lock my door. . .

I asked for a quiet and peaceful place to live, and I got it

A little background of my moving. I liked where I was, but it was so noisy with the neighbors on both sides and downstairs. (I had an apartment on the top floor.) My intent was to live in a quiet peaceful place where I can rest and work well.

Gee, did I get that.

I now live in a townhouse. No one is above me or below me. It seems to have been built well that I hardly hear my next door neighbors, either.

But it’s not just the lack of someone else’s music and loud conversation. The quality of peacefulness here is beyond expectation.

I’m on a mid-hill on the southwest edge of Eugene. From my living room, I can see the mountains across the valley above the roofs of other houses. There are also some trees, and looking at their leaves quietly moving in the gentle breeze is so calming. Behind all these, the sky is big and close. I can spend the whole morning just looking at the trees, the mountains, and the sky.

Really, I can spend hours just being there. I don’t know how to describe it. I am left speechless. I feel as if I am blending into the whole environment. It’s better than bliss or happiness. In bliss, there is still me.

Driving around the new town

Eugene is such a small town that I can get anywhere in 15 minutes or so (although I live at the edge of town). No heavy traffic. And the directions are so simple. There are only a few roads I need to remember. This is such a relief for me because I’m not very good at finding directions. (By the way, the speed limit is 25 to 35 mph even on major roads. Around schools, it’s 20 mph all day, from 7 am to 5 pm. Why make haste, you know?)

Despite the small size, I find it easier to eat vegetarian (mostly vegan and raw) here. Well, not just vegetarian, how about organic, locally-grown vegetarian? There are some excellent grocery stores that carry stuffs I never saw in Portland. And there are quite a few vegetarian-friendly restaurants. I plan to go to the farmers’ market this weekend.

People are friendly here. I went to the DMV (Department of Motor Vehicle) this morning. Usually, people at government agencies like this have bad attitude. Not here. The guy at the information desk is more friendly than any customer service person you met.

Honestly I get nervous a bit when I go to this kind of place. Not that I did something wrong, but because of past experiences, I sort of expect unpleasant encounter at these places. I was wrong. I was treated well, and it took less than half an hour. . .

So? Is there a problem?

Kind of. Did you notice what I said in the previous paragraph?

I was expecting problems. In reality, I didn’t get it. And I found myself seeking something else.

What something? Well, pretty much anything. Something I can be concerned about, to be mentally prepared for, something I can bounce in my head and “work” on.

This surprised me. I thought I’ve worked out my addiction to judgments and problems. I know many of us actually like having problems regardless of what we may say, and that is the very reason why we never run out of problems. We have a deep-rooted love and hate relationship with problems. We are addicted to judgments and we keep creating problems by our judgments.

But me? Am I still craving for problems? I am in a beautiful, peaceful new place and enjoying it, right? Or do I still have a tiny bit of discomfort with this level of peace?

This peace is almost numbing. It’s like losing myself. I know losing myself (my ego) is a good thing. But it’s just . . . different. Suddenly, there is hardly any problems out there, so now it’s either I completely accept this peace or I have to seek problems within me. Aaaaaaagh!

Creating our life and the world

We create our own life and the world. Some people describe this “The world is our own mirror.” Then I guess I must have done something good to create such a peaceful place to live for myself. The remaining drama-loving ego gotta go.

I’ll see how this works. And I really wonder why the rest of the world cannot be like this . . . there is no reason it cannot be. When we all wake up and be done with our own addiction to judgements and problems, this world will be transformed to a “heaven on earth.”

Online Gratitude Journal August 2009 Edition #32

Well, August is not quite over yet, but I’m posting this monthly gratitude review a little early for a few reasons. For one, I’m moving next week. (More about this when I actually get there.) And also, I had the honor of being interviewed by Evita and I want to share this news sooner. And oh, I just got a prize! (Photo credit)

August in Review

This month was about letting go of things that use to work but not any more, putting closures, and transitioning to something new and unknown. I just sold my computer desk (you know, the huge desk we used when the desktop computer and tube monitor were so bulky and heavy). I’m going through my stuffs and dumping / donating / selling so many books, clothes, what not. I want to simplify my life. I did a major purging only a year ago, but I’m going further this time.

I think it’s critical to do this cleansing with gratitude. I’m not letting go of these stuffs because I hate them. I’m grateful for them — we spent many happy hours together. Thank you. Hope the next owner love them, too.

Fun

So, the interview. I love interviews because they give me opportunities to examine my life and business from fresh perspective. And Evita asked great questions! Do head over to check it out. Thank you, Evita!

And I won a prize at Kim & Jason. Kim & Jason has a cute blog and they publish great video clips regularly. What a surprise it was to watch them pronounce my name (yes, Kim, you pronounced it right ^_^) in the video! I’d like to think this is a wonderful sign for my relocation. Thank you!

Challenges

Like, accepting changes? Not that I don’t like changes or I don’t like the specific change I’m facing. On the contrary, I think this move will be fantastic. It’s just this is exactly the kind of situation when my Mission Realmer underlay comes out to play. This new town seems just so . . . different. From any towns I’ve ever lived (in Japan, Australia, and the US). It’s so small and maddeningly peaceful. I . . . I . . . ‘m just not used to this . . . aaaaagh.

(Don’t worry, I will get through this.)

Where in the blogosphere Akemi has been

One of my core message is “You are creating your own life and the world.” You are not a slave nor an order taker. There is no God who wrote your missions on a stone and has been watching your progress, who will judge you and punish you if you fail to live up to his demands. You are God.

But what does it really mean in our day-to-day life? Well, check out this post by Steve, aka brip blap. If you don’t like something in your life, you can change it. Against odds.

And how about eternal life as the ultimate creation? Here is an intriguing post at Oprah’s website (HT: Robin at Let’s Live Forever!). My understanding is, if someone is traveling freely in the higher dimensions, that is not the same physical body as we have known, but it’s lightbody. So physical immortality is about developing lightbody instead of dying.

The idea of immortality may seem far-stretched, but do check it out. The author of the post, Dr Janni Lloyd, is very knowledgeable and I like what she has to say.

The web is full of wisdom. Thank you.

A year ago at Yes to Me

“What’s the best thing that can happen?” Thank you, that’s what I myself need to hear.

Word of month

Open to the state of grace — using the energies of praise, love and gratitude for EVERYTHING in your life will move you from the law of karma to the law of grace. — from Janni’s post on Oprah.com.

Take care, everyone, enjoy today!

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