One client, who identified himself as gay, asked, “Does our soul have anything to do with our sexual orientation?” It’s an interesting question.
I will first discuss this issue as Akashic Record Reading specialist. Then let me share my personal view about sexual orientation and how unreasonably GLBT individuals are treated even today. (Photo Credit)
Male and female energy in a soul
On the physical level, we are born with male or female genes, which show up as different hormonal levels and physical shapes.
On the soul level, we all have more or less of male and female energy. A soul may be predominantly male, predominantly female, or androgynous with about the same amount of male and female energy. This applies to both incarnated souls and spirit guides.
With incarnated souls (us!), the gender of the soul may or may not match the physical sex of the person. This, however, has nothing to do with the person’s sexual orientation.
A woman with a male soul may be happily married to a man and have several kids. With the extra male energy, however, she may enjoy working outside the home as an individual, rather than staying home and assuming the traditional role of a homemaker.
Likewise, a man with a female soul may be straight. If anything, the extra female energy may make him a gentle nurturing figure, and maybe a great dad.
Few incarnated souls have androgynous souls. Androgynous souls are highly advanced souls.
Past life gender and sexual orientation
Souls incarnate in various ways to see this world from different angles, so you are likely to have been incarnated as both man and woman. Again, this has nothing to do with your current sexuality or sexual orientation.
In the specific case of the client who asked the aforementioned question, he had a soulmate contract with a soul who is now incarnated as a man. When I told him about this, he immediately knew which of his past lovers I was talking about. (As I wrote in that linked article, soulmate contract is very harmful.)
However, this only sets him up to have one relationship with a man. One homosexual experience / relationship doesn’t make a person homosexual.
So, my conclusion as Akashic Record reader is that the soul has nothing to do with sexual orientation. I don’t even know if a soul recognize another soul by the gender — it recognize each other by the overall energy.
Homophobia in the 21st Century!?
I am totally pissed off to read the news in which words like “gay” is used derogatively. (HT: Hunter Nuttall) What is it that is bad about loving someone, whether the person is of the same sex or opposite sex? Tell me even one good reason.
I think homophobia is about the fear of our own sexuality. Because sexuality literally strips us “naked” to who we really are. Someone with tons of money and high social status? Who is this person without such decorations? Someone who has tons of knowledge and can say all the right things? Let’s see how this person acts when they are naked.
With men, I think there is an additional fear of not being needed by women. Most women are bi whether they are aware of it or not. For women, pleasure only takes to be touched the right way — penis is not necessary but only optional. This is true even in heterosexual sex — it’s so much easier for a woman to have orgasm in outercourse than in intercourse. (If you haven’t figured this out, well — experiment a bit for a pleasant surprise )
By contrast, most men seem to be either straight or gay, not bi. So straight men have difficulty understanding gay men. And straight men, needing women for their satisfaction, wonder: What happens if many women figure out they are bi and men’s treasured tools are only optional? Then they have to attract women by their personality. Ah, how scary. Many people (both men and women) are still not aware of their innate charm and power.
Movies to think about love and sexual identity
I’ve always loved watching “gay” movies because they ask critical questions about love. For example, have you watched these?
Toward the end of the movie, the “wife” and drag queen (Nathan Lane) asks the critical question to the very old-fashioned senator, father of his son’s fiance. I can’t find the exact quote, but it was something in the line of, “You liked me. You liked who I am. You liked what I had to say about politics, you liked dancing with me . . . What is the difference (whether I am a man or a woman)?”
Are people born to be gay or are some people recruited? And again, what is so wrong about being gay? The movie shows breath-taking scenery, cute and sensitive guys, and ugly women who do cliched “sexy” things like wearing shorts and high heels. So heterosexual sluttery is fine but not homosexuality? Come on.
The Wedding Banquet
Directed by the same director Ang Lee, who also directed Brokeback Mountain. This is a cute comedy in which traditional Asian values meet American lifestyle, leading to something productive. I really like the ending, which is a kind of polyamory of two gay men and the mother of one of the guy’s baby.
This movie is about MTF (male to female) transgender. A week before her final surgery, Felicity Huffman learns she fathered a son. She spends the week with him traveling across America (I don’t know why they didn’t just fly) without telling him about their biological relationship.
The movie asks the same critical question: Isn’t it who you are that matters, not what gender you are? But then, gender also matters — that is why there are people who go through the transgender procedure. Aaaaagh . . . we are not quite so simple. . .
Not really a “gay” movie because Julie Andrews is only pretending to be a man. The guy who falls for “Victor” still has to overcome his inner resistance to go for a man. Great music and sense of humor ^_^
Recently, I noticed I never watched lesbian or bi movie. Isn’t this strange? The above movies were blockbusters and I watched them not because they are gay movies but because they are good movies. And what happened to the female equivalent?
I researched in NetFlix and watched the following:
If These Walls Could Talk 2
This is an omnibus of three stories. The first story is about an elderly lesbian couple who have been together for probably 50 years or so. One has an accident. Her companion (Vanessa Redgrave) can’t see her at the hospital’s intensive care because she is not a family member. She stays in the waiting room all night in case anything happens to the patient. Next morning, she finds her companion passed away during the night. No one let her know. She can’t even say the last good bye to her companion, who is practically her spouse.
Then the relatives of the deceased come and tell her she needs to move out of the house they lived together. Even though both paid toward the mortgage, the title is under her companion’s name, and the Vanessa Redgrave’s role has no legal right to stay there. This is not what her companion wanted — they agreed that, if anything happens to one of them, the other can stay in their home. But in the end, because they were not legally married, the one who just lost her love of life also loses her house.
I don’t think you need to be pro-gay to see the wrong of this scenario. You only need to be pro-love.
Kissing Jessica Stein
I like the humorous setting — a straight girl responding to a woman’s personal ad out of curiosity, who also never had lesbian relationships. I don’t like the hypocrisy of the leading character. Her girlfriend leaves her because she doesn’t want sex so much. This is understandable — sex is important for this woman and she wanted to be desired. The leading character then turns around to a man and says, “She dumped me . . . I guess she wanted someone more gay.” (Quote may not be exact — I’m writing from my memory.)
Hmm, I guess gay men have a lot more to say than lesbian women.
What do you think about our sexuality? In the spiritual context? Please share in the comment. Thank you.
Whether you are doing it consciously or not, you are creating your life and the world. The principle of this creation is called the Law of Attraction. There are other spiritual laws about creation, but I’m simplifying things here. The important thing to remember is the true nature of “reality”, that reality is something we can mold.
Now the ultimate question to this premise is “Why, then, don’t we get what we want? Why is it so damn hard to have what we desire, like making enough money from my hobby so I can quit my job or finding my life partner?”
There are two things to consider here. One is the misuse of the Law of Attraction. The other, main point of this article, is surrendering to the bigger purpose of life.
Misuse of the Law of Attraction
Common misuse of the Law of Attraction includes:
1. Focusing on NOT having what you want instead of acknowledging the good things you already have and desiring to go further to have it.
Let’s say you are single and want to find a mate for intimacy and personal sharing. Someone you feel attracted and want to spend a lot of time together. Now, do you feel good about yourself — do you find yourself lovable and trustworthy? Are you grateful for the life you have now, for your friends, your past romantic partners for making you the person you are now? Or are you feeling lonely and miserable, needing to find that special person? If it’s the latter, you probably attract more of not having a mate. Or you attract someone that matches the loneliness and misery you harbor.
2. Not being clear and consistent about what you want. Many people seem to know exactly what they DON’T want, but not clear about what they want.
Do you find yourself desiring a life partner one day and then, on other days, saying something like “Oh, I’m just too busy to have a relationship right now. I want a raise…” This is like changing your order at a restaurant. Please be clear and consistent about what you want — this involves sincere exploration of your true desires.
Then there comes a point of surrender. This is different from giving up your desire because you see yourself as a powerless victim of life. This is about surrendering to the bigger purpose of your life that your conscious mind may not readily perceive.
Let me continue the example of finding a life partner. After my divorce, I decided to spend a year to recover my sense of well-being and to rebuild my life. Eventually, I felt ready for a new relationship. I actively sought out a new partner. I joined match.com. I asked my friends if they knew someone single. I did meet many men. But none led to long term relationship.
Was I doing something wrong? Back then, that is what I thought. Although I couldn’t put a finger what I was doing wrong.
I was quite happy with my life. I don’t say this in a way like, “I have a good-paying job, I have great friends, I’m fine. Nothing is wrong with me.” kind of way. Yes, I just wrote this line in a tongue in cheek kind of way because I saw so many online profiles like that. The truth was, yes, I was happy with my life, my job, my social life, but I wanted a romantic relationship and I couldn’t find it.
So, I wasn’t focusing on the negative NOT having part of my desire. And I was fairly consistent in my focus. Even though I didn’t know the term “the Law of Attraction” back then, I was taking the right approach.
Not getting what you want and be happy with it
Then I decided to quit my corporate job and relocate across America to Oregon. Gee, I couldn’t have done this if I had a boyfriend in Tennessee. I’m really accommodating when I’m in a relationship, and I most likely would have given up — or wouldn’t even have entertained — such idea if I were in a serious relationship.
I didn’t get what I sincerely desired — a life partner, an intimate relationship. Looking back, am I upset about this? No. On the contrary, I’m grateful. I couldn’t see far enough into the future when I was busy meeting men, but now I think this is exactly how I am meant to be living now. I can spend my time doing what I am meant to do — doing the Akashic Record Reading service and writing about spirituality — without the constraint of monogamous relationship.
This is what I mean by surrendering. You may not get what you desire, and it may be just as well. You will see how so much better it is not to have your wish come true — if you open up and accept the gifts of not having it, if you surrender.
Recently I had a mini revelation. The memory of my first boyfriend popped in my mind suddenly. Well, I didn’t have sex with him, but I consider him to be my first boyfriend. We were seventeen years old. It ended prematurely because I was an exchange student in Australia and had to come back to Japan at the end of the year. I used to wonder what my life may have been like if I could stay and could keep seeing him.
In a flash, I saw myself with him together. Living together in a house. With kids. Doing the everyday things — get up, breakfast, get the kids ready for school, rush, work, etc. etc. The life I could have had with him. And OMG. I was tired of the repetition within a second!
I always knew I was not meant for motherhood — I find children adorable, but I was never big on becoming a mother myself. The biological clock that so many women talk about — I just never felt it. This — not particularly craving motherhood — was fine with me. But as I’ve been saying, romantic relationship was a different deal. I thought I really wanted it. Living with the guy I really like (and he likes me too), sharing all aspects of our lives. I thought I wouldn’t even mind taking care of kids if that’s what it takes for the relationship.
But no. When I saw that psychic vision, I realized I’m not meant for the regular marriage. Even if it’s a good one. I am meant for something else. For what? Well, look, I already have it. I can freely pursue my interests, build my life and my business. I connect with my clients with love. And being free from the conventional lifestyle keeps my thinking free and my body ageless.
Somehow I surrendered to the bigger purpose of my life. My ego mind could not see it for so many years, but my Higher Self knew what was best for me. This is how creation works sometimes.
(And now, from this liberated place, I can date ^_^ I see my new date from time to time while keeping my life my way. It works.)
Are you ready to surrender?
Or are you attached to a certain outcome? In other words, do you simply desire something or do you NEED it to happen?
I suggest you take a big breath and look at the things you so want but haven’t got in your life. Is it possible not having it is actually better? Can you see the big picture? (Photo by photomason)
I had such a great time reading the responses to my 4 Questions For My Readers. You guys are so wise and helpful! So now I’d like to ask for your input again.
In Creating The New World, Part 1 Love, I defined Love as “the awareness that we are valuable for our individual uniqueness and yet we are all part of the whole”. It’s about unconditional acceptance and blessing of who a person is. At the same time, it’s based on the awareness of our interconnectedness.
In the same article, I also discussed the future of romantic relationship and marriage. But I skipped the definition of romantic love.
What is romantic love?
Because I’m so perplexed. So many people seem to be crazy about getting into romantic love, and keeping their love “alive”, yet I’ve not seen a good definition of romantic love. It seems people take it for granted what it means.
I’ve been thinking about this ever since I wrote that article. What is romantic love? What is the difference between romantic love and Love, as I discussed in that article? Is there a difference?
How do I feel about love myself? Well, I love pretty much everyone. (Until, perhaps, someone attacks me. Which seldom happens as I am spiritually protected. And if I do get attacked, I’ll see if I can forgive.) (Oh, but I admit I had a hard time loving George Bush.) I’m emotionally, mentally, and spiritually poly- or pan-amorous. Or, at least I’d like to be, and if there are still some kinks (as a physical being, we all have some twists and challenges, which make life more interesting), I’ll see if I can let them go.
On the practical level, however, I have only certain amount of mental energy in each 24 hour day that tends to go to certain individuals. In other words, I’m personally more interested in a handful of individuals than others. So romantic love is love plus intense personal interest?
At the same time, I feel physical attraction to only certain people. To make things even more complicated, the person I’m personally interested in is not always the same I get turned on with. So romantic love is love plus physical attraction? Or, romantic love is love plus intense personal interest plus physical attraction?
Is commitment necessary in romantic love?
I’ve heard people say something like, “I’ve decided to love him / her for life.” That is wonderful, and I respect the sense of responsibility this person exhibits. I assume this means the person is committed to their partner in the same way they are committed to their own lives.
I, Akemi, is bound in my physical body and to my physical history. Whether I like it or not, I’m committed to follow through until it’s time for me to go. I — my body, my thoughts, my emotions and spiritual beliefs, along with all my external situations and conditions — change with time, but I will follow through. This is what I mean by “committed to one’s own life”.
If your commitment to your partner is this much, I really think it’s great. One lifetime’s uncertainty is quite a bit to take, and you are willing to take another’s in addition to your own. Honestly, I’ve never felt good to take this much of responsibilities. I want my lovers to be on their own and be happy with or without me. For me, this is love.
So I don’t think commitment is a necessary ingredients in romantic love. I also don’t think shared time and experiences are necessary part of romantic love. It’s a good part of relationship, but not romantic love. Dante saw Beatrice only twice.
What constitutes romantic love?
But this is just how I feel. What is your idea of romantic love? I identify at least three ingredients that seem to be necessary for romantic love: love, personal interest, physical attraction. Are there anything else? Are all the three necessary? How are they related to one another?
I appreciate your opinion very much. Please share in the comment below. Thank you. (Photo by Lutz-R. Frank)