Why I Died At Age Four

Even when you believe in the eternity of your soul (or Higher Self), the fear of death and the impact of losing your loved ones are huge. I understand this. I read people’s soul records (Akashic Records) every day and have seen many past life deaths and reincarnations, but when I hear someone talk about actual death, there is not much I can say or do but offer my love to them.

In this post, I’d like to share one of my past life (again, the one before my Ascension soul shift) in which I died at the tender age of four. Perhaps it sheds some light about this sensitive issue about dealing with death, especially death of a young person.  (Photo by sugarmonster)  

Choosing birth setting in the cycle of reincarnation

I don’t remember exactly how I died. The point is I opted out early from that life because it wasn’t what I, as spirit, expected.

What went wrong? Was I abused and couldn’t take it any longer? Was I so ill that I chose to end life earlier than expected? Was I poor and starved, or was there a war?

Nope. On the contrary, I was born to a loving and affluent family. I was their precious only child. They wanted to shower me with all the love and care, and whatever money could buy. I think, by the time I was a four-year-old girl, they were dreaming up of my big wedding.

And that was the problem.

There was hardly any challenge.

We all choose our birth setting prior to life. Often, we dare to choose difficult situation to be born to because we believe it offers better learning opportunities for our life lessons. This is not always the case, however. Spirits honor our free will, so if we insist on being born to a certain setting, they let us do so. They may say something like, “Honey, you may not like that situation. It doesn’t align with your learning process.” but if you insist, they will let you do that. We have the right to learn by trial and error.

So evidently I chose this rich and loving family. I guess I was tired of tough life like the one that ended up with cruel persecution.

. . . and I quickly found out the advice of the counseling spirits was right. Again, this life as the only child of an affluent family was . . . boring. Perhaps the only way I could learn something in that setting was to run off with a guy from a different race and social status. But I didn’t like spending more than ten years growing up just to get to the point of potentially doing something like that. So I opted out. Sorry my mom and dad of that lifetime . . .

Is Lamborghini for everyone?

Let me explain by analogy. Do you want Lamborghini? It’s a nice sports car, isn’t it? Would you like to drive that if it was up to your choice?

Me choosing that rich family to be born to was like me choosing to drive a Lamborghini. The spirits told me I may not like it, but I insisted because it looked nice. And my friend Hunter told me it’s nice. So I wanted to try.

Now in real life at the car dealership, something would happen that would prevent me to actually buy a Lamborghini. Perhaps I’d notice it makes horrible engine noise as I test drive. Plus I’d notice I was getting unwanted attention. (I don’t like getting attention for the car I drive. I want attention to myself). So I’d walk off without buying it. Good grief.

In reincarnation, however, there is no test drive. So I dived into that experience. And quickly realized I messed up. Again, my mistake. No one did anything wrong.

The lesson

Does this mean all the children who die are choosing their own destiny to opt out? No. Does it mean it’s no good to give love and material gifts to children? No.

What I’m getting at with this story is that there may be a hidden meaning. Again, I know losing a loved one is tough. It’s essential we take good care of ourselves in such times. And, when you start feeling better, maybe you can regain the trust that things are working fine.

Here is another story I heard from a friend. Her friend gave birth to a baby who had birth defect. Doctors told her to institutionalize the baby because he wasn’t going to do anything and would die soon anyway. She was determined to take care of the baby herself and to prove them wrong.

The baby did achieve some development and surprised the doctors. Then, one winter morning, she was driving her kids to somewhere, and another car slipped and hit her car. The other car hit right to the side where that baby was seated, and he died instantly. Magically, she and her other (normal) kids didn’t get hurt at all.

After grieving, she realized that the baby caused the accident himself to leave this world. It was time for him to go — he appreciated his mother’s love and care, but he also knew he wasn’t going to be much more than he already was, and wanted to leave so that he could have another fresh start at some point of time later. The mother was sad, but she came to accept this.

I hope this article offer some help and release for those who suffer from the loss of their children and those who are perplexed with the issue of children’s deaths. If you know such person, please email them the link to this article.

The True Nature Of Reality And Life

What is this thing called life? What is the real nature of it? Why can some people walk through life with joy while others suffer?  (Photo by feintnate)  

I wrote about the true nature of reality in the Light part of Creating The New World series, but I suspect not many readers got it. So let me explain again. This is very important, foundational concept.

You in the movie of life

Have you watched a good movie in which you were so immersed that you felt like you were actually living that story? Or have you read a book that put you in the same kind of state of mind?

You identified with one of the characters, perhaps the leading character. His or her feelings felt like your own. When the situation changed, you felt their surprise and confusion. When they had to make a difficult decision, you struggled, too, as if it’ll affect your own life.

Only when the movie was over and the titles started to run with the music, you came back to yourself, sighing, “Oh, wow, what a story. . .!”

This life is like that. Your Higher Self chose a certain setting and jumped in to experience the story. Like you watch a movie.

You as the actor and audience of life

Actually the analogy works even better with live theater play than a movie. Your Higher Self chose a role and jumped in to be part of the play. At the same time, your Higher Self is the audience of the play. This is what I mean when I say our Higher Selves split part of themselves to incarnate in the physical bodies.

Most of us are so immersed in this life theater production. It feels all so real. Only when we die, we come to realize it was a play, or a movie. Some people call this condition “we have the veil” on us that hinder us to see the true nature of reality.

Is sad movie a bad movie?

Do you like sad movies or stories? I guess many of us do. Sad movies are not necessarily bad movies. Sad movies can be beautiful and we may learn a lot from them. It’s okay to watch sad movies.

Do you like action movies? I’m personally not a big fan, but I guess many of you like them. In those movies, bad guys play critical roles, right? You hate them, but then, the movie’s plot is impossible without them. That’s what those people who have hurt you in your life have done. They played their roles.

By the way, my favorite movies are romantic comedies — not the slapstick “I’ll make you laugh by all means” kind of movies but the ones that look at life with lighthearted humor. Like Lost In Translation, Love Actually, and The Birdcage. A bit of mind-bending, like Eternal Sunshine or Closer, is good, too.

What are your favorite movies? Now is that how you live or wish to live?

You as the director of life

The amazing point is you are not just the actor and the audience of this play. Your third function is to direct it. Well, I mean, you can direct it if you so wish. This is what I mean you have the power to create your life and the world.

While you are so immersed in the life play, it’s easy to forget you are also a director. But you chose your character, and this play is made spontaneously as we go. If you don’t like the story-line, then change it. Make the adversity to a rags-to-riches story or glory by overcoming the challenge story.

Being the director of your own life play doesn’t mean everything will go the way you want. Your awareness as the actor is different from your awareness as the director. (Do you think those actors really enjoy playing the scene where they get tortured or getting dumped for stupid reasons?) The life theater is dynamic and fun But it does give us a clue how we can live better.

The fun is in the process

Now let’s say there is a new movie you are interested in. Would you just read the synopsis, see the last scene, and be done with it? No, you want to spend two hours in the theater watching the movie, right?

Knowing all the outcomes of the story ahead of time spoils the fun. The fun is in the process. We took the trouble of being born in this physical world to experience all these ups and downs, excitements and serenity, interesting twists, etc.

I wrote about victim mentality and slave mentality in the Power part of the Creating The New World series. In it, I explained the telltale sign of these disempowered mindsets is the word SHOULD.

My friend emailed me saying, “I think we ask what we should do because it’s a big shortcut when we don’t know everything.” True. I’m not prohibiting the use of should. The point is we accept the uncertainty of life, to be empowered to the point that it’s really fine to go with the flow with all the unknown. This is what I mean the fun is in the process.

The secret of life

Life is a story or movie. Or a virtual reality game. (I’m not familiar with video games so I didn’t use this metaphor, but I guess it works, too. Perhaps this is why those games appeal so much to some people.)

Does this mean we don’t need to take life seriously? Absolutely not. We took the trouble of incarnation. (And oh, what a trouble it was!) We want to enjoy this fully. So live well.

At the same time, your life will be a lot easier when you notice we are only identifying with the character of this life movie, or identifying as the actor’s role. We can still enjoy the sensations of this movie, but don’t be buried in them. You are actually someone outside the movie, and you can even direct the movie the way you want it.

When you realize this true nature of life, you also notice that there is no reason to stay resentful to those who have harmed you. It’s fine to get upset at them when they harm you — that is the intention, the plot. But you don’t need to remain resentful or run to the spiritual cop to out their wrong doings. They just played their role to contribute to your life story.

I dreamed I was a butterfly. . .

Another way of saying the same thing, that life is a movie or a theater play, is “Life is a dream.” I believe this is what 4th century B.C. Taoist Master Zhuangzi (also spelled Chuang Tsu or Chou) meant by this story:

Once upon a time, I, Chuang Chou, dreamt I was a butterfly, fluttering hither and thither, to all intents and purposes a butterfly. I was conscious only of my happiness as a butterfly, unaware that I was Chou. Soon I awaked, and there I was, veritably myself again. Now I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly, dreaming I am a man.

Both in the eastern and western worlds, a butterfly is often a metaphor of a soul.

You will wake up from this dream when you leave your body. However, just as some people can do lucid dreaming, you can become aware of the true nature of this life and “reality” while you are in it.

From a butterfly dreaming it’s Akemi, with Love ^_^

4 Questions For My Readers

I usually play the role of an educator (haha) here at Yes to Me, but today, I want to switch roles.  I have some serious questions about life, this world, and myself and I’m hoping my wise readers can help me.  (Photo by Sailing)

1. Why are people afraid of death?

There seems to be a consensus that the longer a person lives, the better.  I hear people say something like, “If I’m really lucky, I’d live to 100 . . .”  And when someone dies young, whether that is 80 years old or 60 years old or 40 years old or as a minor, that is considered bad and shameful.  Or in the case of children’s death, they blame God or the doctors or something.

Like (this is just one example of many, nothing personal here), Tim Brownson commented in Zen Habits regarding the Law of Attraction, “. . .my introduction to manifesting was The 28 Laws of Attraction by Thomas Leonard that originally came out (I think) about 6 or 7 years ago. Thomas Leonard then died at the age of 48, so his manifesting ability as an expert seems questionable at best ”

But then, most older people I see don’t seem to be particularly happy. Why?  If living long life is the ultimate goal of life (or at least one of them) and everyone wants it, they are the winners, right?

I don’t get it.  I don’t mind leaving here on Earth this afternoon (except that I have several weeks worth of waiting list for my service – hope someone would refund them after I’m gone).  Not that I want to die.  Well, honestly, I’m getting a bit tired of all the mess in the world, but I still enjoy my life and I don’t mind continuing to live and do some service work in the meantime.  But I don’t think it’s a bad thing to die.  Just spare me with excessive pain and drama.  (So don’t send me paper bomb, okay?)

But maybe I’m missing something?  Can someone give me a few reasons why living long is the ultimate goal?

2. Why do people want more money than they can spend?

I do understand that we live in a monetary system and money comes handy to get the products and services I want.  That is why I have my business and charge a heck of money ^_^  (I raised my rate three times in less than a year.)  But I don’t understand wanting more money than I need.

Let’s just say I make a comfortable living with 100K a year.  And let’s also say I achieve this goal.  (Not quite there yet, and I probably don’t need this much, but hey, it’s fun to think.  And I’m not good with numbers so I don’t want to work out the real numbers.)  There are three choices I can make at this point:

1. Keep working hard and make even more money
2. Work less, enjoy life more
3. Keep working hard but in a different way, including some work that may not produce income

I’d choose either 2 or 3.  But many people seem to choose 1.  Why?

For rainy days?  Again, I do understand the benefit of having some buffers.  Life is full of ups and downs.  But really, isn’t it a bit obsessive to think the more the better?  Or are there other reasons I have not noticed?

3. Why are some people so passionately against same sex marriage and other stuffs they are not involved?

I do understand that if you are homosexual and want to get married, you are passionate about legalizing same sex marriage.  It’s your issue. I don’t necessarily think legal marriage is particularly a wonderful institution, but if you want it, you want it, and that is fine.

But if you are heterosexual, what do you care about same sex marriage?  It has nothing to do with you.  I’m straight, and I simply don’t have much to say about homosexualism.  For me, they are just people like me or anyone else.

However, I do have something to say about love and marriage in general regardless of the participants’ gender.

And that is: love is good.  If you are gay and really hate being gay, that may be an issue, like a sugar addict hating sugar cravings.  But as long as you are happy with yourself, I don’t think any form of love is “wrong”.  (Oooops, I forgot the possibilities of extremes like incest.  There are people who want to argue using the fake logic of extremes.)

Some argue same sex marriage weakens marriage.  BS.  Marriage has been weakened by people getting married for wrong reasons like for money, security, or validation, and also weakened by married people who are cheating.  Two  adults getting married for mutual love and care cannot damage the institution of marriage whatever their gender may be.

I don’t understand the whole homophobia stuff, either.  Why is it bad for a man to sxxx another man’s penis while it is fine for a woman to do the same?  And why do you care about what other people do in their privacy?  It’s not like they are dumping lead paint off the drain, contaminating our Earth.

4. What is my image or brand?

The dignified, outspoken, and secretly sensitive James Chartland (the last one is tricky.  Apparently sensitive is not the image he likes to cast on himself, so he works hard to impress his readers with his manliness.  But I bet he is sensitive)  wrote an interesting post about branding.  In that article, he points out how Frank Kern utilizes the laid-back, every man image as his brand to sell his expensive info product.

I’m intrigued.  While I think I know myself pretty well, I also know it is extremely hard to know oneself.  So will you please help me?  Describe Akemi as you know her with three (or more) words, like I did for James and write them in the comment.  You can be honest ^_^

Thank you and a big smile!

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