Yes to Me

(Photo by Gail S)

What you know and do really matters. And who you know. And more.

Much has been said about the importance of networking in business, but I am yet to see a comprehensive account how each piece fits into the big picture. I also know, from experience, some challenges we face especially when connecting online, and would like to share my perspective.

Who knows you matters more than who you know.

The two are not the same. The most fundamental form of communication is the mutual two-way communication between two individuals who knows each other. I like the comfort and trust of this kind of communication. But things get more complicated in modern life. There are people I know but don’t know me. For example, I read a lot and learn from the writers, who don’t know me. It is a good learning experience for me, but in terms of my business development, they don’t help – how could they, they don’t know me. Conversely, there are people who know me but I don’t know, such as my silent readers. I’d love to make a good impression to them, firstly as basic manner, and secondly because there are so much they can do to help me, such as providing feedback, talking about my blog and business to their friends and possibly sending me referrals, or even becoming my clients themselves. So, who knows me matters far more than who I know when it comes to business development. And this leads to the second point. . .

Reaching out to who you know is the critical step.

This is the step that changes the one-way communication to the fundamental, often mutually beneficial two-way communication. It’s a critical and difficult step. It’s difficult because, while I know them in the one-way generalized communication, I don’t really know the person, so I’m not sure how to relate to them. In the two-way communication, we adjust the way we relate to the specific person we are communicating with based on our knowledge about them, but in the first contact, we don’t have much knowledge pool. Especially when the communication takes place online, I don’t even get the immediate feedback from their words and body language, so it is even more difficult. (After all, I don’t even know if the person is reading my email, or if my email is ending up in their spam box.) So I rely on the two basic rules of inter-personal communication: be myself and be courteous. Yet, it raises questions like. . .

Is it okay to ask for a favor in the first contact?

When we reach out, we usually have a reason. The reason why we are breaking out of our comfort zone and making this difficult first contact. But is is okay to ask right away?

I can’t speak for others, but for me, if it is a small favor I can do myself, asked in a civil way, I don’t mind it. We live in a fast paced society, and I am a pretty open person, so I don’t need a long prelude of friendship. For instance, if someone emails me asking for feedback about his or her new blog, I’d be happy to take a look and write back, and I’ve done this many times by now. I do want to know, however, who they are and how they know me. In other words, we do need to build a relationship first, even a quick one, before getting to the asking part.

For a bigger favor that involves others, such as referral and link love, I take more caution because if I recommend something or someone I don’t know well, I am undermining my own reputation. I once received an email from a complete stranger titled “link exchange request”. The email consisted of two sentences, saying she has put my blog on her blogroll so I should do the same for her. This is a wrong way of asking because she didn’t take even a minute to build relationship with me. I felt like I was used as a tool, like link providing vending machine. I still took the time to check out her blog, and wrote back I couldn’t do so because her blog didn’t have a contact info. But I have to say I really don’t like being TOLD what to do, unless I’m doing something harmful.

(A word about contact info. I know the problems of receiving spams, but I still think it is a publishers’ responsibility to provide readers with a way of contacting them. Email address, or link, or contact form. All the bloggers in my Resources page do this, and let me add that these are all good bloggers who offer quality contents. I have exchanged emails or phone calls with most of them and so know them to some extent.)

But really, online or off, I don’t mind doing some act of kindness even to a stranger, provided the situation is right. Again, other people may be more cautious or private. So I wouldn’t take it personally if I reach out to someone and don’t hear back. Maybe he is busy. Or maybe my way of relating to her was not her favorite way of being contacted. I feel a bit down, but I have one more thing to do to complete the cycle of network. . .

What can I do to help others connect?

There are people I know who do a great job. There are also people I know who may benefit from my friends’ work. However, they don’t know each other. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if I could help them connect with each other?

For example, Andrea at Empowered Soul did an extraordinary work for me with her intuitive reading. Until quite recently, I thought psychics were weirdos who charge big money for chit-chatting that amounts to nothing, but she was so clear and grounded in explaining her work that I was happy to give it a try. And I am glad I did. She not only told me what my challenges were, but also gave me homework (!), a solution I can do on my own to improve my situation from spiritual aspect. Now if I get to know someone who may benefit from her service, but may have the kind of idea about spiritual work like I did before, I’d be honored to refer them to her! By doing so, I make them both happy, and when they are happy, they are more likely to do me a favor when I need a sidekick.

The real power of who you know is this indirect perk you get when you help others network.

To do this well, you need to make it a habit to think about possible match-making. You already know quite a few people who can make unique contribution for others. Some more examples I can offer are: I recently worked with a graphic designer for my business cards. Elaine at Designer Passport did a beautiful job at a reasonable fee. In addition to the business card design, she turned it to logo (see below), and customized the header of this website. (See Yes in orange?) Also, I know some excellent coaches. If you are an active woman who want to achieve the next level, like running a full marathon, or if you are going through divorce and can use extra help to stay put, let me know.

There are four kinds of relationships.

The first is “I know you, you know me” and this is the most fruitful mutual relationship. The objective of networking is to upgrade other three kinds of relationships to this mutual relationship.

1. For “I know you, you don’t know me” relationship, my action plan is to reach out in a courteous manner.
2. For “I don’t know you, you know me” relationship, my effort goes to make it easy for you to reach me out, such as providing contact info and encouraging you to contact me.
3. For “I don’t know you, you don’t know me” relationship, my hope is the people who knows you and me would take the trouble of connecting me to you. I can encourage them do this by making it clear who I’d like to know and showing gratitude for the things they do for me.

Once you establish a good relationship, it is important to maintain it well. Don’t be like the stupid salesperson who is super nice until you sign up and never returns your call afterwards. I will write more about this later.

How do you like networking? Did this article help you to be more active in networking?

Thanks to Alex for including this post in Personal Development Carnival, to E3 for inclusion in Carnival of Success Principles, to Joe for inclusion in Working at Home Carnival.

What’s stopping you from starting your business? Click here for the sidekick.

(photo by peter bowers)

Here is a fun exercise you can do while dreaming of your business.

In fact, this is something you will have to do to start a business, and when the time comes, you may not have enough time, so advance work will pay off nicely. The exercise is: Think of the name of your business.

The name of your business is the first and main thing you want people to remember and recognize. It is a marketing tool. Marketing! Does this alarm you? I hope it does. We are talking about business, and business comes with marketing and sales. Be both ambitious and practical in naming your business.

If you are thinking of naming your business after your own name, think again.

Is that really THE ESSENCE of your business? Is your business just a personal extension of you, the business owner? Michael Gerber warns about this tendency of mixing business and yourself in his classic The E-Myth Revisited: Why Most Small Businesses Don’t Work and What to Do About It. He has a way to present the issue in a really easy-to-understand animated way, so let me quote a bit from the book.

In (the business’s) infancy, you are the business. It’s even named after you — “Joe’s place,” “Tommy’s joint,” “Mary’s fine foods” — so the customer won’t forget you’re The Boss. . . (your customers are saying) Joe is the best barber I ever went to. . . Your customers are crazy about you. They keep coming, in droves. . . And you love it! But then it changes. Subtly at first, but gradually it becomes obvious. You’re falling behind. . . All of a sudden, Joe, Tommy, and Mary wish their names weren’t on the sign.

Your business is an independent entity.

You may be the only person working for this business, and yet, your business has its own life, its own way to grow, and needs its own system. You might not want to identify with your business too closely. That way, you can see its challenges in a more detached manner. It is your business’s growth issue, its need for better system – and you can’t solve it by stretching yourself thin . . . to thinner. . .

Of course, there are a lot of successful businesses that are named after their founders. Think of Dell, founded by Michael Dell. Or Toyota, Honda, Ford. . . Charles Schwab, Estee Lauder, Philip Morris. . . (Philip Morris changed its name to Altria in 2003, but not because the name reminds of its founder and therefore limits its growth. They wanted a name that doesn’t mean anything nor have any feeling to it, like Altria. Not a wonderful reason of name change. I hope you are proud of the business you are dreaming of and want to express what it is, rather than hiding behind a meaningless name.) If you can detach from your business, the business name that carries your name shouldn’t be a problem. In other words, can you imagine your business growing to the point that doesn’t require your personal presence, and still be okay with that name? Additionally, people instinctively like dealing with other people, so personal name has its advantage, too. Wendy’s, with the mascot of a little girl, sounds and feels close to you.

If not your own name, how do you name your business? This is where the fun and agony start.

It boils down to what message you want to send out to the world about your business. So you really need to think what this business has to offer, who the target customers are, and how it aims to attract and serve the target customers. You want to think of all these things, and put in the essence into the name. A name that says what the business is about, and doesn’t mislead any potential customers. It also needs to sound good – a name that is easy to remember and to pronounce.

In terms of how you want to convey your message about your business, there are two major ways. One is to be descriptive and another is to use the feeling or sensation the name suggests. Examples of descriptive naming are everywhere – this was the standard way of naming. Like MicroSoft or FedEx. Or NorthWest Tax Service. Just don’t be too descriptive and long. The alternative method of exploiting the feelings such as novelty, sexiness, or fun the name suggest can be very effective when used wisely. For example, the blog name Dosh Dosh. I don’t think Dosh Dosh means anything (right, Maki?) but it sounds fun and it is memorable. And the blog has a very descriptive tagline, “Helping you make money online” so once people read this tagline, we know exactly what it is about. It is a different approach from the descriptive name like ProBlogger. Or how about Xerox? It is a made-up name, so it sounded cool. And the business has been so successful that now xerox can mean photocopy in general.

There are more to consider if online presence means a lot for your business. Seth Godin has a blog post titled The new rules of naming (hat tip to Jonathan Fields. His post is another great read on the topic). This article has some tips to improve Google search results by choosing the name well. He also emphasizes the importance of being unique, and advocates non-descriptive names that allows long-term business growth.

Let me illustrate the naming process with the real life example: Yes to Me.

Prior to settling down to this name, I had several other ideas:

• Undoo (Why two Os? Think of Digg, Mixx, Squidoo . . . More about this in the aforementioned Seth Godin’s post.)
• Unjudge
• Free(e) Me
• Successful Entrepreneurs
• Aspiring Entrepreneurs
• Unlimited Possibilities

Now what does this blog (business) has to offer? Inspiring and informative articles about entrepreneurship and personal development. I also offer coaching services to those of you who want personalized programs. Who are my target customers? “Tomorrow’s successful entrepreneurs”. How does it aim to attract and serve the target customers? By sending out clear and consistent message that you can do it, and that it starts with accepting your dreams, and ultimately you, yourself. (Entrepreneurial challenges, like any business challenges, are, in the core, really personal life challenges. Your mental, emotional, and even spiritual strengths and weaknesses will show up as business issues. And this is why I write about personal development in this blog.)

I didn’t go for using my name because my name, Akemi, can be difficult to English speaking people. And again, I want this blog to have its own life even though I am the only writer. I want to focus more on my readers and their needs.

Unlimited Possibilities got dropped because it is such a cliché. You’ve seen something like this in the self-help section of the bookstore. It is too generic it doesn’t describe the content of the blog adequately. I felt Successful Entrepreneurs or Aspiring Entrepreneurs were too descriptive and not fun. Too much to type, too. I came up with the idea of Undoo because I often teach how to unlearn conventional wisdom and judgments to learn new things. But still, Undoo sounds – too silly. Especially for my coaching business. Unjudge came with similar concepts, but I decided it sounds too negative. Free(e) Me? Again, sounds like a new age cliché. While I do believe we are free and hold unlimited possibilities within us, I didn’t think they make good blog names.

So Yes to Me. I like its simplicity and the positive, self-affirming message, which is the core concept of this blog.

My concern is that when readers (yes, like you!) see Yes to Me, do you immediately know it is about you? Yes, it is about you saying “Yes to me.”

I asked about this to a dozen individuals, including my friends and total strangers I grabbed at Starbucks. While this number is not really sufficient to conclude any decision, it did give me some idea. It seems the majority of people did understand it was about self-affirmation. Some did seem to be a bit puzzled, and one asked “To what question?” I did more brainstorming, and couldn’t come up with a name I liked better than Yes to Me. So, here it is.

It is critical to ask others for feedback in your decision-making as entrepreneur.

Ask as many people as possible about your naming ideas. You cannot not-know what you already know. You already know how much thoughts have been put into this name that you like. You also have feeling for it. And this can affect your judgment. So ask to people who are not preoccupied with your endeavor. There are even businesses that specialize in naming businesses and products.

The name of your business will say a lot about the business and how you, as business owner, deal with it. Name it with your passion, but at the same time, think how that name will be received by your customers. The name will be there as long as you run the business, or until you take the trouble to changing the name (which can be costly, not only in financial terms, but also in terms of potential loss of customers) so take time and start thinking!

This post is in the Home Based Business Group Writing Project. The impact of business name is even more prominent for online businesses (often home based).

Thanks to Brad for including this post in Carnival of Sales & Management Success, to Marshall for inclusion in Carnival of Sales & Management - Customer Loyalty.

What’s stopping you from starting your business? Click here for the sidekick.