Yes to Me

(Photo by tanja de Bie)

My fellow small business owners: How many people don’t know what you do?

Naomi Dunford of IttyBiz threw this question in her article Let’s Play A Game – What’s Your Small Business? because she found out not all her blog readers know what she does for a living. She says,

I got to thinking… how many of your readers don’t know about your IttyBiz? How many knew one time 8 months ago when they read your About page but have promptly forgotten? How many of them have room on their credit cards? How many of them know people who could use your products or services? How many of them would fall over their own feet to recommend you but don’t have a damn clue what you really do?

Hmm. If it can happen even to an A-list blogger like her, it can happen to me, I guess. This blog is still so young and I don’t always write about my services in blog posts. So I started writing my answers to her questions . . .

Do I know what I am doing? Do I at least know what I don’t know?

Writing I did. Definitely the worst writing I ever did. I slept over it, and finally admitted to myself: This is no good.

Not that I don’t know what I do. Not that I never thought about how to present my services to new people. It’s that her questions are the kind of pointed questions that really ask about my marketing plan of my business. Like the USP (Unique Selling Proposition). Also, I have so much to say about my services (I love what I do, you know) that it’s hard for me to put it in short neat sentences.

So I did what I preach: I asked for help.

I call it Team Building in my e-workbook 7 Check Points For Aspiring Entrepreneurs. We don’t need to be everything and do everything. Seek the right help. It’s faster and easier to get things done. (By “Team” I mean everyone who can help an entrepreneur take her business off the ground and moving – CPA’s, attorneys, strategic partners, coaches, employees. . . and marketing specialists.)

So far, I have exchanged several emails with her and talked with her once. She is wonderful. Just bouncing ideas with her gets my creative juices flow. So here is my response to her “game” for now — I’m thinking of following up on this when she gets back to me with more great ideas.

What’s your game? What do you do?

I help people who is stuck and find it hard to get out of the rut. These are smart people who have high aspirations and know how to live better, but somehow can’t help doing things the old way. . . I just think it is such a shame that these good people try and try so hard without realizing a few critical points. As a professionally trained coach, I can often see what they are missing.

It’s one thing to have a generic understanding of how to live better – you can learn this by reading good self-help books and blogs. However, it’s quite another to implement the changes in your own life. I help my clients make their own action plans that are best for their own situations and personalities.

Logistically, I usually schedule one phone session per week. The length of time clients work with a coach varies, but typically two to six months.

Additionally, I will be offering soul reading and clearing soon. I’m very excited about this new service because I think it will give a new dimension of understanding to our life’s struggles.

Why do you do it? Do you love it, or do you just have one of those creepy knacks?

I love it. Also, I’d like to think I’m good at it. Just for fun, I recently took Gallup’s StrengthFinder test and the result confirms my talents to find the best qualities in people and help them utilize the strengths to the max.

Moreover, I’m very intuitive. I’ve always known this, and I’m glad I’ve found a way to train it systematically so that I can put it into practical use.

It’s like my whole life has been preparing me to do these services. I’ve re-invented myself and my life a few times. The major ones are when I came to this country and when I quit my nice corporate job. I know how to put ideas to action.

Who are your customers? What kind of people would need or want what you offer?

If you feel you can do so much better but somehow find it hard to actually do what you intend to do, talk to me. (That doesn’t make you a loser – real losers don’t have dreams nor goals. Or don’t see the benefits of getting assistance.)

This is where Naomi gave me an insight. In her email, she said my target clients were “anyone who read Oprah magazine.” What a brilliant way to put it! While I think men would also benefit from my services a great deal, it does describe my main client group.

I also work with aspiring entrepreneurs and new entrepreneurs. I guess people who take themselves serious enough to start their own businesses are open and willing to have coaches.

What’s your marketing USP (Unique Selling Proposition)? Why should I buy from you instead of the other losers?

This is the hardest question. For one thing, I don’t think other coaches are “losers” at all. I think if a business owner has to put down her competitors, she has a problem, not her competitors. I certainly would like to think of myself better than that. There are plenty of people who would benefit from having a coach, so all quality coaches can thrive.

However, I do understand the need to differentiate myself in the market. Again, this is a tough question because it’s hard to see myself in others’ eyes. So, until she gets back to me with more professional advise, here is my answer:

I can bring out the courage within you that you may not know you have. I’ve been through challenging times when my faith was pretty much all I could rely on. And I know how hard it is to take courage at face value especially for intelligent people – we tend to get analysis paralysis.

Also, when I say “faith” or when I talk about soul and spirituality, I am talking about open spirituality, not necessarily religious affiliations. So don’t worry about being recruited or lectured when you talk to me – I’m not that kind of a person. I guess this makes me uniquely attractive to certain clients.

Finally – well, not many coaches have cross-cultural perspectives, right? And not many know how to read soul records upon request. . .

What’s next for you? What’s the big plan?

As mentioned above, soul reading service is coming very soon. I’m creating a Squidoo lens for this. It is an optional service, but I think a lot of people who are interested in my coaching service would find it helpful.

Long term, I want to do inspirational speeches and publish books. Coaching is great for the clients because they get ongoing personal attention – I like it, too, and consider it as privilege. However, it does limit the number of people I can reach. By speaking publicly, I can reach out a lot more people.

If you have a small business, try this writing exercise. It’s very helpful to make sure you have an effective marketing plan, the kind of plan that helps people find you. And your readers get to know you better!

Coming up:

I interviewed Naomi for my Interview With Successful Entrepreneurs series. Will post it soon, so stay tuned!

Would you like insights and accountability to bring real changes to your life? Please check this page

(Photo by ecstaticist)

Are you secretly shy but want to network to promote yourself and your business?

First, you are not alone. It is so natural to feel a bit of resistance when we make that first connection with a new person. It’s an animal instinct – you don’t know how they may respond, so there is a level of danger. Further, we’ve all had unpleasant experience with those slick “networkers” who work the room around handing out their business cards. Apparently, all they cared was their own business and you felt used. So you don’t want to be like them.

The good news is, networking doesn’t have to be that way. I have been making several new friends a week using the following three strategies. These strategies reduce my stress level when I approach new people, and let me build rapport that helps each other.

1. Have sincere interest in the person you are reaching out.

And know that people like being approached . . . by someone who really appreciate who he or she is. This means I do my homework before contacting the person. When I reach out to another blogger, I first spend time reading their blog – their home page, about page, their own top pick posts (many blogs have “Best of XXX” list in the sidebar), and several recent posts. While I am at this, I might leave comments or stumble upon the posts. Then I email the blogger how I like their blog, which part really touched my heart or which tips I found most useful.

Most of the time, the recipients get back to me so happily. Very often, we start working together quickly. For example, the guests of my Interview With Successful Entrepreneurs series are often recruited this way. Or we might talk about guest blog opportunities.

I find online connection is easier than offline because I can do this homework. It is also easier online to find people with similar interests. I search through Google and StumbleUpon for blogs about business and personal development. I also check comments on my own blog and on blogs I like. Additionally, there are blogs who regularly feature good blogs, such as NBOTW and the Quote of the Week.

When I physically meet people, the homework is sometimes difficult to do. I don’t usually know the people who will be there at the meeting I will be attending. So I just have to build it from the ground that we are attending the same meeting – with a certain interest in common. And I attempt the second strategy . . .

2. Have something to give.

This is mainly for myself, for me to feel more comfortable to approach a new person and to have a little reason to approach the person. If it’s online relationship, I might offer my e-workbook 7 Check Points For Aspiring Entrepreneurs for their review. The stumble (= new traffic) and comments I mentioned above are another example of mini gifts.

It reduces my stress level tremendously when I think more about what I can give rather than what I can get. And I don’t think it has to be a “stuff” that I give. I’d most appreciate if someone emails me with an idea to improve my blog. Or when someone quotes from my post and send me link love. Wouldn’t you?

When I attend meetings and seminars, I might bring in something to give (think of a box of donuts, for instance) if it seems appropriate and I seek something nice to say to the person I want to talk to. For example, I will talk to the person during the break and mention the great question she asked in the seminar. Or I compliment the unique ring the woman next to me is wearing or ask about the book someone is carrying.

And finally, here is a strategy to multiply your effort of networking. . .

3. Promote others.

Yep. Don’t just promote yourself, promote others. For two reasons. One, it’s the best gift you can give to the person you are helping to get ahead, and if that person is worth the attention, they will remember. They will do what they can do to help you. You are building a strong ally for yourself by promoting others. Two, you are helping the person in front of you, too, by giving solid reference, and they will appreciate you. (Needless to say, be sure your reference is excellent.)

And again, saying nice things about someone else is so much easier than promoting myself. I often wonder why it is so challenging to say I am a great coach! I know I do a wonderful job, and it is a work of love – it helps people to live better, so I am proud of my work, and yet . . . aaaaagh! My heart is starting to go faster with self-consciousness!! Whereas promoting the coaching service in general is not that difficult for me, and talking about the great blog I found is casual and fun. (Like, did I mention Cath Lawson’s Fab Quotes?)

We can’t afford not to network in life and in business.

Any business is about person to person connection at its core. The above three strategies make a good start in networking. It is not a way to get maximum number of names in the shortest time possible. It is about building strong meaningful relationships in a slow and steady way while feeling good about ourselves. It works for me, especially online. For offline networking, I still have a lot to try – I am checking what kind of meetings or seminars are good for networking, how to find them, how to physically approach people, and so on. I appreciate if you have any suggestions.

Related reading: Professional Networking: It’s Not Just Who You Know

More related reading especially about how to use comments for networking:
How I Made $2500 Online Simply By Leaving a Comment at Adversity University
Rethinking Blog Comments at Dosh Dosh

Would you like insights and accountability to bring real changes to your life? Please check this page

(Photo by venkane)

I call it the I Factor. I as in I Am.

In Professional Networking: It’s Not Just Who You Know, I wrote about how various networking efforts work toward the big goal of bringing people to the “I know you, you know me” relationship, which is the most fruitful of all relationships. Once you get to this relationship that allows mutual communication, you want to deepen the relationship and maintain it well. Pay attention to each word — “I know you” means I care to know who you are. “You know me” means I will let you know me who I really am.

Abandon the idea that you can somehow trick others to believe you (and your products / services) to be someone you are not. Such trick won’t work, not in the long run, and not worth the effort anyway. Nor the pretence of a smiley face will substitute genuine caring for the people you are dealing with. So here is something we know deep inside yet seldom discussed in business workshops. . .

Self-Love is the basis of marketing, and business in general.

If you are not comfortable with yourself, people will sense it. They will know consciously or subconsciously, and your relationship, both business and personal, will be affected accordingly. And this is far more than just words. I know plenty of people who say they have a high self-esteem and, at the same time, are so afraid of expressing themselves. They say something like, “Oh, I’ll do it when I get a degree / lose 5 pounds / or (fill in the blank).” I’d say we, each one of us, get comfortable with ourselves right now. With all the imperfections.

When we love ourselves as we are, we can extend our caring to others.

Simple. And yes, I know how challenging this is. When and how did loving ourselves and others get so difficult?

Let’s go back in our time and think, for a moment, how we felt about ourselves and others as a baby. Did we love ourselves and others then? I am thinking about my friend’s little boy. He seems to know love. He looks happy when he is held by his mother, when he sees toys, or when – most of the time. He is a happy baby who smiles at everyone. Sure, he cries, too – really badly when he is hungry, wet, or plain bored. But he doesn’t seem to carry grudge. He doesn’t get upset like, “Well, you are not feeding me quickly enough. You are not a good parent. I don’t like you.” Instead, he simply gets happy when he gets fed. Is this because he doesn’t remember his hunger he went through a few minutes ago? No, he is capable of remembering his mother, or even me. He just knows love, and doesn’t know non-love. Because he only knows love, he probably doesn’t know he knows love. I guess this is how we were initially, no matter how our parents and circumstances were. We knew love, including self-love. So what happened since? In my case, I had no clue about love by the time I entered adolescence, and I was also strongly questioning if I was worthy of love . . .

Worthy of love? Do I need to clear certain requirements to be worthy of love?

Maybe even to get the love from myself? This appears to be the mainstream thinking. When I was getting divorced, my counselor emphasized the importance of self-respect, and asked me to write down the qualities I liked about myself. You know, like the fact I have a college degree, I can speak two languages, or that I had a good paying job. Or, in terms of appearance, I was supposed to write things such as I like my dark straight hair, cute smile, and so on. And add my kind nature. Have I reached the point of loveliness yet?

I now think this was quite a ridiculous exercise. It only reinforced my judgment system. Judgments like having higher education is better than not having one, more money is better than less, straight hair is better than curly. . . So if I qualify for the better, I deserve self-respect, and if I have less of those, I am no good? Sounds to me that if I am in the “respect” group, I’d live in fear of losing that status, and if I am in the lower group, I’d live in anxiety. This is the opposite of love!

This is why I no longer use the word self-respect and say self-love instead.

Words like self-respect and self-esteem make me nervous. They imply I somehow have to qualify for respect. The truth is we all deserve respect. However, the word “respect” is often used in a more discriminating manner in our society. So I prefer self-love. Here, I am as I am, and I love myself! I don’t have to do or have anything. I love myself, period.

When we are comfortable with ourselves, we are empowered. People like self-assured, naturally caring person. So it gets so much easier to connect with others, and the connection can get to much deeper level. When this happens in business, it is marketing beyond the superficial marketing tactics and strategies.

When you express yourself and connect with your customers at deeper level, your business becomes indispensable.

Express who you are and who you aspire to be, your dreams and values, and people who identify with you will seek you out. Maki at DoshDosh just wrote an outstanding post titled It’s Not Just Words: The Importance of Empowering Your Audience. In this article, he discusses the power of connecting with your audience (customers) by sharing common dreams. When people see you as someone close to their heart, and feel you share their dream and they can achieve their dream “with and through you”, you (and your business) become special. Let me quote:

This is the ultimate form of marketing. Why? Because when you become so deeply associated with a vision, you move beyond selling. You have become an essential component of your audience’s lives.

(Maki always writes well – which is amazing – but this post is by far the most insightful, explaining the power of words and the superpower of your being behind the words. And yes, your being needs to be effectively expressed for good marketing.)
Marketing tools such as wording and images and strategies such as networking and campaign are best used to enhance this process of becoming part of your customers’ lives.

The I Factor of putting yourself in front of others is possible only when you first love yourself.

After all, how do you empower your customers when you are not empowered? As I wrote in 5 Qualities I See In Successful Entrepreneurs, I consider self-love and compassion are critical for business success. So please open your heart to yourself and others. (Oh, in case you are wondering what my dream may be. . . I want to help you learn the mindset of successful entrepreneurs so that you can make the leap with confidence. I believe in more holistic approach to entrepreneurship. This also means helping you unlearn conventional thinking and realize that the source of your true power and wisdom is within you.)

How are you expressing yourself in your business? What dreams are your clients trying to achieve with and through you?

Thank you to Brad for including this post in Carnival of Sales & Management Success.

Would you like insights and accountability to bring real changes to your life? Please check this page