Yes to Me

(Photo by ePi Longo)

Do you know your strengths? Are you utilizing your strengths to the max? Is your business performance in the top rank thanks to your strengths?

These are the questions the Gallup Organization ask through their series of books about StrengthFinder. I recently took this online test and find the result quite interesting, so here is my sharing.

If you want to take the test, you need the access code that comes with their book. I have Discover Your Sales Strengths: How the World’s Greatest Salespeople Develop Winning Careers. It describes the 34 themes and explains how the strengths of each theme can be used in sales. Or you can get StrengthsFinder 2.0: A New and Upgraded Edition of the Online Test from Gallup’s Now, Discover Your Strengths to take the new version of the test. I scanned through this book and it looked good – the description of the themes are the same, but come with suggestions how to use it to its advantage. I took the 1.0 test, and have no idea how 2.0 is different.

Why I didn’t take the test earlier even though I supported their perspective

I’ve heard about the best selling book Now, Discover Your Strengths and even flipped through it at the bookstore years ago. I totally agreed with the points the book made: Find your strengths and utilize them to the maximum. Don’t worry too much about weaknesses. Wow, this is exactly what I insisted (and got me into trouble often with my parents, teachers, and bosses . . .) I thought: If I work on my weaknesses (in school days, these were physics and athletic activities), with discipline I might get to the level of “good,” but there would be tons of people who can do it far better than I can. Why waste my time? (Note: I did understand the benefits of bringing all scores to the passing level.) Why not capitalize on my strengths that make me special?

I also agreed with their view that most people are clueless about their own strengths. I see that happen all the time. Then why didn’t I take the test earlier? The very reason can be found in my StrengthFinder result . . .

StrengthFinder finds your five strongest themes.

A theme is a group of talents that takes certain character. My themes are, in this order:

• Strategic
• Maximizer
• Activator
• Individualization
• Significance

With Individualization, I’m an exception to the rule. I can see my and other people’s strengths clearly. And this is exactly why I didn’t buy the book earlier. I didn’t feel I needed it.

If you are curious why, then, I finally took the test . . . well,

1. I had to (still do) improve my sales and was willing to try anything that might help me achieve this goal.
2. I thought this kind of knowledge would help me become a better coach.

Did I really know my strengths? Am I utilizing them both as a person and as an entrepreneur?

The result was more about confirming what I knew rather than discovering new strengths — for me, an Individualization theme person.

Here is a quick view of my five signature themes with quotes from my book and what I think about them:

Strategic

The strategic theme enables you to sort through the clutter and find the best route. It is not a skill that can be taught. It is a distinct way of thinking, a special perspective on the world at large.

Oh, this is what I’ve been calling my “system” oriented thinking. I like handling things by system as I wrote in How To Improve Customer Service By Spending Far Less Time. They also say Strategic person is strong in new ventures – as a new entrepreneur, I really hope so.

Maximizer

Excellence, not average, is your measure. . . Strength, whether yours or someone else’s, fascinate you.

Sure, as I wrote already, I am strengths (gifts) oriented. This is one of my focal points in coaching, too.

Activator

“When can we start?” This is a recurring question in your life. You are impatient for action. . . you believe that action is the best device for learning.

I know I am good at starting things. And I must learn hands-on. I actually fell asleep in one of the corporate training class in which the instructor just read the textbook. (In this case, my contempt at such a poorly planned training may have played a role, too. I am a Maximizer.) And this is why I love blogging – I learn as I write and see how it lands among my readers.

Individualization

Your Individualization theme leads you to be intrigued by the unique qualities of each person. You are impatient with generalizations or “types” because you don’t want to obscure what is special and distinct about each person.

I really like pointing out someone else’s uniqueness. I often send notes to my new friends describing what specifically I find wonderful about them. As a coach, this is my best gift.

Significance

You want to be very significant in the eyes of other people. . . In particular, you want to be known and appreciated for the unique strengths you bring.

So this is why I care (or worry) about what other people think of me. Generic positive review sounds almost negative to me. My fondest memory in corporate America was when I was working for a bank and my clients referred their friends to me saying, “Akemi knows, and will get the best package for you.” I guess this theme gives me strong motivation.

What about my other strengths like communication?

I guess Communication is my sixth theme. I relate to the description very well.

Any strength can backfire when over-relied. . .

As much as I believe in the benefits of focusing and utilizing the strengths, I also see a potential problem of over-relying on strengths. (I can see this thanks to my Strategic theme, I guess) When you over-rely on a few strengths, you run a risk of losing balance and missing something that is so obvious otherwise. For example, if I start too many projects as Activator, pretty soon I will be so exhausted that I just won’t be able to keep up with everything. I run a risk of being called a quitter. I’m learning this the hard way . . . I don’t know how many projects I have started with great excitement, only to get bored later. (I get bored if I don’t get the admiration I yearn for as Significance themed person. . .) Now I am very choosy what to start.

Realizing one’s strengths is a good starting point in becoming aware of one’s life purpose.

This is because your strengths are the gift the Universe has bestowed on you so that you can live toward your purpose effectively. If I may use my case as an example, I think the result supports my choice to help others through coaching. Individualization is truly a gift for life coaches. Strategic and Maximizer themes are great, too, especially when I coach aspiring entrepreneurs.

StrengthFinder is a useful tool if you want to check your strengths objectively.

So, my readers,
If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you know me to some extent. What do you think about my StrengthFinder test result? Do they describe me well?
And what do you consider to be your best strengths?

Would you like insights and accountability to bring real changes to your life? Please check this page

(Photo by venkane)

I call it the I Factor. I as in I Am.

In Professional Networking: It’s Not Just Who You Know, I wrote about how various networking efforts work toward the big goal of bringing people to the “I know you, you know me” relationship, which is the most fruitful of all relationships. Once you get to this relationship that allows mutual communication, you want to deepen the relationship and maintain it well. Pay attention to each word — “I know you” means I care to know who you are. “You know me” means I will let you know me who I really am.

Abandon the idea that you can somehow trick others to believe you (and your products / services) to be someone you are not. Such trick won’t work, not in the long run, and not worth the effort anyway. Nor the pretence of a smiley face will substitute genuine caring for the people you are dealing with. So here is something we know deep inside yet seldom discussed in business workshops. . .

Self-Love is the basis of marketing, and business in general.

If you are not comfortable with yourself, people will sense it. They will know consciously or subconsciously, and your relationship, both business and personal, will be affected accordingly. And this is far more than just words. I know plenty of people who say they have a high self-esteem and, at the same time, are so afraid of expressing themselves. They say something like, “Oh, I’ll do it when I get a degree / lose 5 pounds / or (fill in the blank).” I’d say we, each one of us, get comfortable with ourselves right now. With all the imperfections.

When we love ourselves as we are, we can extend our caring to others.

Simple. And yes, I know how challenging this is. When and how did loving ourselves and others get so difficult?

Let’s go back in our time and think, for a moment, how we felt about ourselves and others as a baby. Did we love ourselves and others then? I am thinking about my friend’s little boy. He seems to know love. He looks happy when he is held by his mother, when he sees toys, or when – most of the time. He is a happy baby who smiles at everyone. Sure, he cries, too – really badly when he is hungry, wet, or plain bored. But he doesn’t seem to carry grudge. He doesn’t get upset like, “Well, you are not feeding me quickly enough. You are not a good parent. I don’t like you.” Instead, he simply gets happy when he gets fed. Is this because he doesn’t remember his hunger he went through a few minutes ago? No, he is capable of remembering his mother, or even me. He just knows love, and doesn’t know non-love. Because he only knows love, he probably doesn’t know he knows love. I guess this is how we were initially, no matter how our parents and circumstances were. We knew love, including self-love. So what happened since? In my case, I had no clue about love by the time I entered adolescence, and I was also strongly questioning if I was worthy of love . . .

Worthy of love? Do I need to clear certain requirements to be worthy of love?

Maybe even to get the love from myself? This appears to be the mainstream thinking. When I was getting divorced, my counselor emphasized the importance of self-respect, and asked me to write down the qualities I liked about myself. You know, like the fact I have a college degree, I can speak two languages, or that I had a good paying job. Or, in terms of appearance, I was supposed to write things such as I like my dark straight hair, cute smile, and so on. And add my kind nature. Have I reached the point of loveliness yet?

I now think this was quite a ridiculous exercise. It only reinforced my judgment system. Judgments like having higher education is better than not having one, more money is better than less, straight hair is better than curly. . . So if I qualify for the better, I deserve self-respect, and if I have less of those, I am no good? Sounds to me that if I am in the “respect” group, I’d live in fear of losing that status, and if I am in the lower group, I’d live in anxiety. This is the opposite of love!

This is why I no longer use the word self-respect and say self-love instead.

Words like self-respect and self-esteem make me nervous. They imply I somehow have to qualify for respect. The truth is we all deserve respect. However, the word “respect” is often used in a more discriminating manner in our society. So I prefer self-love. Here, I am as I am, and I love myself! I don’t have to do or have anything. I love myself, period.

When we are comfortable with ourselves, we are empowered. People like self-assured, naturally caring person. So it gets so much easier to connect with others, and the connection can get to much deeper level. When this happens in business, it is marketing beyond the superficial marketing tactics and strategies.

When you express yourself and connect with your customers at deeper level, your business becomes indispensable.

Express who you are and who you aspire to be, your dreams and values, and people who identify with you will seek you out. Maki at DoshDosh just wrote an outstanding post titled It’s Not Just Words: The Importance of Empowering Your Audience. In this article, he discusses the power of connecting with your audience (customers) by sharing common dreams. When people see you as someone close to their heart, and feel you share their dream and they can achieve their dream “with and through you”, you (and your business) become special. Let me quote:

This is the ultimate form of marketing. Why? Because when you become so deeply associated with a vision, you move beyond selling. You have become an essential component of your audience’s lives.

(Maki always writes well – which is amazing – but this post is by far the most insightful, explaining the power of words and the superpower of your being behind the words. And yes, your being needs to be effectively expressed for good marketing.)
Marketing tools such as wording and images and strategies such as networking and campaign are best used to enhance this process of becoming part of your customers’ lives.

The I Factor of putting yourself in front of others is possible only when you first love yourself.

After all, how do you empower your customers when you are not empowered? As I wrote in 5 Qualities I See In Successful Entrepreneurs, I consider self-love and compassion are critical for business success. So please open your heart to yourself and others. (Oh, in case you are wondering what my dream may be. . . I want to help you learn the mindset of successful entrepreneurs so that you can make the leap with confidence. I believe in more holistic approach to entrepreneurship. This also means helping you unlearn conventional thinking and realize that the source of your true power and wisdom is within you.)

How are you expressing yourself in your business? What dreams are your clients trying to achieve with and through you?

Thank you to Brad for including this post in Carnival of Sales & Management Success.

Would you like insights and accountability to bring real changes to your life? Please check this page

(Photo by Stuck in Customs)

Is it intelligence? Is it luck? Is it connection? What qualities do we really need to possess to make it to the successful entrepreneurship?

We have all thought about this looking at the cover of Forbes 500, haven’t we? Or when we notice one business (be it a deli or an accounting firm) doing so well while another similar business around the corner fails miserably. I am on a mission to find this out – and this is what I have found so far. . .

1. Passion

This is the moving force that gets us take the leap and gets us out of bed with excitement every morning. You love what you do. So spending a lot of time doing it is actually a pleasure, not really a work. You love doing not just the part that immediately affects the bottom line, but also studying about it and thinking and dreaming about it. The people around you feel your passion and naturally help you out.

Usually, the passion is about the service or products you want to offer, but sometimes there are variations. I heard that Howard Schultz, CEO of Starbucks, was passionate about building a business that treats its employees well more than he was passionate about coffee. Because he grew up looking at his dad who was treated poorly at work and yet could not leave the work. Or how about the case of Chris Gardner, who rose from poverty to become a successful stock broker and established his own brokerage firm Gardner Rich. (His story became a movie The Pursuit of Happyness (Widescreen Edition) His main passion seems to be about being a good father to his kid, and this drove him to aim high.

2. Self-Love

We believe in ourselves to the point we take our ideas seriously and put them into business. Self-love and sense of service together form the foundation of entrepreneurship. This is where the strength comes from when the going gets tough. Self-love is also about defining a healthy boundary, which is critical in dealing with others effectively. Further, a new sense of self-discovery, supported by self-love, is the critical part of clarifying our niche and making our own brand. People don’t like doing business with faceless organizations really – and without the self-love, how will you put yourself in front of your customers? (Have you noticed the name of this blog, “Yes to Me”? This is for you, the aspiring entrepreneur, to love yourself to the point you say “Yes to me.”)

3. Sense of Service

If you’ve been thinking you need to somehow cheat, manipulate, or otherwise take advantage of people to be a successful business owner, this may come as surprise. I was first introduced to this idea of entrepreneur as social server in one of Rich Dad’s books Rich Dad’s Retire Young, Retire Rich. In this book, he asks “a very important question” that “if answered and acted upon, that makes people millionaires, even billionaires.” The question is:

How can I do what I do for more people with less work and for a better price?

Entrepreneurs serve the world through the work we do. And as entrepreneurs, we are the biggest beneficiary of this service because it gives us the strength to carry out our businesses. Without the sense that what we are doing makes a positive difference to other people’s lives, and to the world, it is hard to keep going.

4. Compassion

10 years ago, I might have called this inter-personal skills, but now I know it is more than a skill. We need genuine compassion for the people around us, whether they are customers, potential customers, employees, business partners and advisers, and just anyone and everyone. Because everyone has the potential to help us in one way or the other, but for that to happen, we must first care for them so that they know us and care for us. And this is not about being a people-pleaser. There are people who are not the right match. Compassion is still the basis of true inter-personal relationships.

Liz Strauss at Successful Blog has a good post about this. It is titled The Best Business Advice Ever . . . in 50 Words. She says she learned the most important business lesson from her father. Let me quote:

Learn your business from your customers. Understand their minds, their hearts, and their lives. Do what you do to make their lives easier. When a problem comes, leave them a place to stand and stand tall beside them. . . . And remember, everyone is your customer, even your dad.

5. Skills / Knowledge

I am a practical dreamer. Here I am saying we do need to learn what we need to learn. If you are not prepared, what do you do when the opportunity falls on you? Liz has another post that illustrates this scenario. It is titled Success Can Come Right Out of Nowhere. Make no mistake. This is NOT about overnight success that takes no effort nor skills. The girl sure got an opportunity of a life time “out of nowhere”, but the real reason of her success is her great performance, her singing skill exhibited on the stage even though it was her first time. The opportunity may fall on you by accident, but if you are not well equipped with the necessary skills and knowledge, it will amount to nothing.

As a small business owner, you will need to learn not just the core skill you feel passionate about, but also the basic skills of running a successful business. You can hire a pro for, say, bookkeeping, if you don’t like accounting, but at least you need to know the difference between gross profit and operational profit.

One of the most critical skills of a successful entrepreneur is, I think, the skill to build efficient system. (More about this later . . .)

Yes, this is a very holistic view of entrepreneurship.

I believe it takes far more than business knowledge (like how to write business plan, how to keep a book, and so on) to be a successful entrepreneur – it is about mental, emotional, and even spiritual change. What do you think? Do you know other “secret of success” I have missed? Tell me!

Thanks to Rob for including this post in Coaching Carnival, to E3 for inclusion in Carnival of Success Principles.

Would you like insights and accountability to bring real changes to your life? Please check this page