The Law Of Attraction And Surrender

Whether you are doing it consciously or not, you are creating your life and the world. The principle of this creation is called the Law of Attraction. There are other spiritual laws about creation, but I’m simplifying things here. The important thing to remember is the true nature of “reality”, that reality is something we can mold.

Now the ultimate question to this premise is “Why, then, don’t we get what we want? Why is it so damn hard to have what we desire, like making enough money from my hobby so I can quit my job or finding my life partner?”

There are two things to consider here. One is the misuse of the Law of Attraction. The other, main point of this article, is surrendering to the bigger purpose of life.

Misuse of the Law of Attraction

Common misuse of the Law of Attraction includes:

1. Focusing on NOT having what you want instead of acknowledging the good things you already have and desiring to go further to have it.

Let’s say you are single and want to find a mate for intimacy and personal sharing. Someone you feel attracted and want to spend a lot of time together. Now, do you feel good about yourself — do you find yourself lovable and trustworthy? Are you grateful for the life you have now, for your friends, your past romantic partners for making you the person you are now? Or are you feeling lonely and miserable, needing to find that special person? If it’s the latter, you probably attract more of not having a mate. Or you attract someone that matches the loneliness and misery you harbor.

2. Not being clear and consistent about what you want. Many people seem to know exactly what they DON’T want, but not clear about what they want.

Do you find yourself desiring a life partner one day and then, on other days, saying something like “Oh, I’m just too busy to have a relationship right now. I want a raise…” This is like changing your order at a restaurant. Please be clear and consistent about what you want — this involves sincere exploration of your true desires.

Surrendering

Then there comes a point of surrender. This is different from giving up your desire because you see yourself as a powerless victim of life. This is about surrendering to the bigger purpose of your life that your conscious mind may not readily perceive.

Let me continue the example of finding a life partner. After my divorce, I decided to spend a year to recover my sense of well-being and to rebuild my life. Eventually, I felt ready for a new relationship. I actively sought out a new partner. I joined match.com. I asked my friends if they knew someone single. I did meet many men. But none led to long term relationship.

Was I doing something wrong? Back then, that is what I thought. Although I couldn’t put a finger what I was doing wrong.

I was quite happy with my life. I don’t say this in a way like, “I have a good-paying job, I have great friends, I’m fine. Nothing is wrong with me.” kind of way. Yes, I just wrote this line in a tongue in cheek kind of way because I saw so many online profiles like that. The truth was, yes, I was happy with my life, my job, my social life, but I wanted a romantic relationship and I couldn’t find it.

So, I wasn’t focusing on the negative NOT having part of my desire. And I was fairly consistent in my focus. Even though I didn’t know the term “the Law of Attraction” back then, I was taking the right approach.

Not getting what you want and be happy with it

Then I decided to quit my corporate job and relocate across America to Oregon. Gee, I couldn’t have done this if I had a boyfriend in Tennessee. I’m really accommodating when I’m in a relationship, and I most likely would have given up — or wouldn’t even have entertained — such idea if I were in a serious relationship.

I didn’t get what I sincerely desired — a life partner, an intimate relationship. Looking back, am I upset about this? No. On the contrary, I’m grateful. I couldn’t see far enough into the future when I was busy meeting men, but now I think this is exactly how I am meant to be living now. I can spend my time doing what I am meant to do — doing the Akashic Record Reading service and writing about spirituality — without the constraint of monogamous relationship.

This is what I mean by surrendering. You may not get what you desire, and it may be just as well. You will see how so much better it is not to have your wish come true — if you open up and accept the gifts of not having it, if you surrender.

Revelation

Recently I had a mini revelation. The memory of my first boyfriend popped in my mind suddenly. Well, I didn’t have sex with him, but I consider him to be my first boyfriend. We were seventeen years old. It ended prematurely because I was an exchange student in Australia and had to come back to Japan at the end of the year. I used to wonder what my life may have been like if I could stay and could keep seeing him.

In a flash, I saw myself with him together. Living together in a house. With kids. Doing the everyday things — get up, breakfast, get the kids ready for school, rush, work, etc. etc. The life I could have had with him. And OMG. I was tired of the repetition within a second!

I always knew I was not meant for motherhood — I find children adorable, but I was never big on becoming a mother myself. The biological clock that so many women talk about — I just never felt it. This — not particularly craving motherhood — was fine with me. But as I’ve been saying, romantic relationship was a different deal. I thought I really wanted it. Living with the guy I really like (and he likes me too), sharing all aspects of our lives. I thought I wouldn’t even mind taking care of kids if that’s what it takes for the relationship. 

But no. When I saw that psychic vision, I realized I’m not meant for the regular marriage.  Even if it’s a good one.  I am meant for something else. For what? Well, look, I already have it. I can freely pursue my interests, build my life and my business. I connect with my clients with love. And being free from the conventional lifestyle keeps my thinking free and my body ageless.

Somehow I surrendered to the bigger purpose of my life. My ego mind could not see it for so many years, but my Higher Self knew what was best for me.  This is how creation works sometimes. 

(And now, from this liberated place, I can date ^_^ I see my new date from time to time while keeping my life my way.  It works.)

Are you ready to surrender?

Or are you attached to a certain outcome? In other words, do you simply desire something or do you NEED it to happen?

I suggest you take a big breath and look at the things you so want but haven’t got in your life. Is it possible not having it is actually better? Can you see the big picture?  (Photo by photomason)

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