Gratitude For New Possibilities, Online Gratitude Journal #22

Aaaagh, what a week!  I can hardly believe it’s been only three weeks since the new year rolled out. There have been so many changes in my life.

In this post, I will share the changes I’ve been going through.  Then I will work on a post that explains the energetic cause that is bringing these changes because I suspect this is not just about me – more people may be going through similar changes now or soon.  (Photo by Mr. Greenjeans)

I woke up to find myself vegetarian

Although there have been some precursor changes, I realized the real shift last Friday. Suddenly I’m vegetarian.  This has nothing to do with certain belief systems or principles.  I just don’t feel like eating any meat nor poultry.  Fish and shellfish are on the borderline, and eggs and dairy (cultured dairy such as cheese and yogurt) are okay.

Even before this, I didn’t eat so much meat anyway, but I did enjoy chicken soup or turkey and cheese sandwich.  So this abrupt change in my diet is taking some adjustment effort.

In fact, I don’t feel good wearing my leather jacket, either.  (However, the new me seem to be accepting leather shoes and wallet.)

Again, this is not about following certain principles.  I don’t think vegetarians are being kind and generous when they criticize meat-eaters, and I don’t like it so much.  So I am not following them – my change is coming from within.  And I’m a bit inconvenienced at this time to get used to this new eating habit, but I also like it.

I have a new taste for clothing

I was getting my coffee at Starbucks that Friday morning, watching people.  In this area (Oregon), people dress very casually, like sweats and jeans.  Many seem to like very basic colors like brown and black.  I was wearing jeans, too, as usual, and a casual Old Navy sweater.  On my feet, I had my Addidas black stripe sneakers.  And I felt the urge to go shopping.

Well, actually, the shopping spree lasted three days, all weekend.  I wanted more feminine and pretty color clothes.  I got myself red suède loafer, metallic burgundy short trench coat, crochet cardigan that ties under my bust, cute Ts, very feminine lingerie, and dark wash jeans.  Good thing this is a bargain season.

The notable thing is not just my new taste of clothes, however.  I have this sense of newness – I went to the same mall I usually go to, but everything I see brings fresh joy and gratitude.

I could easily go to the mall for another day, but on Monday, an even bigger change was on the way . . .

I am moving

I moved to the current apartment when I relocated from Tennessee to Oregon fifteen months ago.  I didn’t know the area at all, so I got a decent apartment, hoping to buy something later.  It’s in a good neighborhood and I’ve enjoyed living here, but . . . I realize it’s so noisy.  I work from home, so a good peaceful environment is important for me.

So on Monday morning, I decided to look for a new apartment.  Purchasing or lease purchasing a property seemed too cumbersome, and I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea as I and my business are changing so fast.  (Plus the real estate price is still falling.)

In Apartment Guide, I found an apartment in the same area.  Huh, this one sounds good.  Never noticed it existed (it is tucked away from the main roads, which is good), but it’s only a few miles away. I drove there and asked, “Do you have a 2bedroom?  I’m not really in hurry to move.  I can wait for a good unit to open up on the top floor, preferably end unit.” And the leasing agent goes, “We have the perfect one that just opened up.”

And it’s not just sales talk.  Honestly, I have never seen a beautiful apartment like this. It’s actually better than some condos.  It has an entry area – the door is not in the living room.  So I don’t need to eat dinner staring at the steel door.  And the light fixture there is not those cheapest, most basic stuff you see in every apartments – they are nice!

There is a large bay window in the living that opens to a small deck.  And a gas fireplace.  The kitchen is U shaped, with plenty of workspace and huge storage space, including a foot wide floor to ceiling pantry, meaning I can put away my foods at heights I can actually reach without a stepladder.  And track lighting.

Each bedroom has a walk-in closet.  The main bathroom has a large tub, not those cheap small tubs that are uncomfortable even for me.  And again, plenty of storage space – I don’t think I have enough stuffs to fill them.

And it’s not just the floorplan.  They say there is a layer of concrete in between the floors for better insulation of heat and noise.  There are wooded areas in between the buildings.  It’s on mid-hill, commanding a spectacular view of the expanding valley.  And the while place looks immaculate clean.  (They are serious about this.  They even hide dumpsters in small shacks.)

Yes, it’s more expensive than my current apartment.  But I want it.  I feel I can work so much better in this setting, and as a self-employed person, my income is dependant on my work efficiency and quality.

Well, I’m going to say even more than that.  I feel that apartment is more becoming of me.  I have grown out of my current apartment.

I signed up and got approved that day.  So I’m moving early February, before Valentine’s Day.

Vibrant gratitude

I just feel so excited.  And when I say my gratitude, there is a new vibrant energy.  It’s like discovering a new meaning of gratitude.  I am so glad and grateful someone designed and built such a beautiful apartment complex!  I am so happy and grateful I am healthy and beautiful and can enjoy dressing up!  I am so grateful for all the foods, all the clothes, all the furniture I have, all the people, all of everything!

Update: I actually prepared this post on Wednesday, and really liked the last phrase “I am so grateful for . . . all of everything!”  When I woke up on Thursday morning, I remembered it, and said it out loud several times, with “Yes, yes, yes!” and that broke me in to such a big laughter.  Oh, it was silly.  I’m just SO happy.

BTW I also feel less inclined to “keep up with the trend”.  If you are a blogger and wondering why I haven’t been commenting on your blog recently, I apologize.  I still love you.

Link Love

Barbara just published my guest post at her popular blog.  Please check it out and give it some stumble love.

Wishing you all the best, too!  Life is fantastic.  Niebu ^_^

Review: Journey Of Souls By Michael Newton

What happens when we die?  Where do our souls go?  What do we do before we come back?

Journey of Souls: Case Studies of Life Between Lives explores the fascinating world where our souls go in between physical incarnations.  Dr. Michael Newton is one of the authorities in the past life regression hypnotherapy and he compiled this book from multiple cases of his clients.  Unlike Dr. Brain Weiss’ Many Lives, Many Masters, which was written about one specific client, this book attempts to describe the spiritual world common to all of us.

Fear of death cripples many people.  Understanding that our souls live beyond the physical body’s death can help you overcome this fear and live more fully. So I strongly recommend this book to anyone who is afraid of death or people who may have lost their loved ones recently.

The sou’s life between lives

The book describes the process of in-between life in the spiritual world in the following chapters:

1. Death and Departure
2. Gateway to the Spirit World
3. Homecoming
4. Orientation
5. Transition
6. Placement
7. Life Selection
8. Choosing a New Body
9. Preparation and Embarkation
10. Rebirth

(the above numbers don’t relate to the book’s chapter numbers because there are several other chapters that discuss related issues.)

As Akashic Record Reading specialist, I have working knowledge about this process, but it was so interesting to hear the detailed accounts of each process.

The first part of going into the spirit world is often discussed in the near-death or out-of-body experiences as well.  As soon as the soul is released from the body, there is no pain nor fear any more.  The soul may feel a bit disoriented because of the sudden big change, but very soon it accepts what has happened and actually is delighted to come back to its real home world.

What Michael Newton calls Orientation is more about review of the life that just ended.  We review if we have learned the life lessons we ourselves planned to learn in that life.  There are special function Spirits who help us do this.  My understanding is this is not about judgment – we review our progress against our own plan.

It’s also interesting that souls belong to a small cluster group.  The members of this group are tightly knit together and help each other learn – kind of peer support group.

And isn’t it amazing that, although the spirit world is a wonderful place to be, souls eventually decide to take the challenge of incarnation again!  This physical world is a beautiful world with all its problems.

Soul’s age and development level

These two critical concepts can be quite confusing so I want to share my understanding.  In Journey of Souls, Michael Newton makes references to what I believe to be the accurate account, but sometimes the points are unclear or seemingly inconsistent.

In my practice, I make clear distinction between the soul’s age and its development level.  In my definition, the soul’s age is the number of lifetimes the soul has incarnated in the physical body on Earth.  Some of my clients are old souls who have incarnated more than a hundred times, and some are relatively new souls who has had only a few lifetimes on Earth.

The soul’s development level is another story. A new soul who has had only a few physical lifetimes may be a very advanced soul while an older soul may be behind in the development level.

The reason is one, souls don’t start at the same development level, and two, souls develop at varying pace.

Just like any school at Earth.  Even in kindergarten, each kids start at different level with different personalities and learning styles.  Treating them as if they are all at the same level is a fake equalitarian approach.

Large part of the reason why some souls start at higher level of development right from the start is because they are star travelers (sometimes called starseeds).  They had lives elsewhere.  I only count physical lifetimes on this Earth.  (Michael Newton discuss about souls coming from other worlds in the chapter about advanced souls.)

And of course, we develop at different speeds.  Otherwise, what is the point of making effort for personal and spiritual growth?  If you develop at the same pace with the couch potato who just pass their time watching TV and drinking beer, why would you work on your development and read this blog?

The time between each incarnation can differ greatly, too, among souls, which further complicates the issue of soul “age”.  Some souls come back within a few years, some take several hundred years.  Sometime, I get clients whose last lifetime was millennium ago  — it’s like the soul didn’t intend to incarnate again but changed its mind for some reason.  So this is a very old soul in terms of historical time span, but with only a few physical incarnations, and it may be a very advanced soul.

My simple question about the methodology of this book

I just couldn’t help wondering one thing as I read Journey Of Souls.  So Michael Newton gathered this amazing information about life between lives by conducting hypnotherapy to many people.  He keeps saying like, “My case reports . . .” “Many clients support this view of . . .”  Nice and objective approach, I guess.

But.  If he is so enthusiastic about uncovering the mystery of in-between life of souls, why doesn’t he go there himself?  He can certainly do this by having his trusted assistant therapist work on him.  Doesn’t he want to go see it himself?  Isn’t that a quick way to clarify some of the challenging questions?  Is there a reason he doesn’t want to do this?  Or did he do it but doesn’t want to disclose it?

When I read Dr Brian Weiss’ Many Lives, Many Masters, I felt his sincere compassion.  This book by Dr Michael Newton felt very different to me.

Do you have questions about life between lives?  Please share in the comments.

What To Do When A Customer Makes Unreasonable Demands

In “Are Customers Stupid?”, we discussed how important it is to listen attentively to customer complaints and inquiries even when such feedback seem negative or trivial.  As business owners, we can improve our business system by listening to such feedback and possibly make more money.

One reader commented on that post, saying

“Sometimes (not often), they (my note: customers or prospects) do need to be put in their place for consuming too much time and resources, even to a point of letting them go from your business. But I would hope this is the exception rather than the rule.”

Another said,

“There are just some people out there who will complain for the sake of complaining. There are also those who are just trying to get something for nothing and play the system.”

This is a critical issue all businesses are aware of but not very willing to discuss.  There are customers who make unreasonable demands.  In this post, I’d like to explore this sensitive issue with the highest level of honesty and integrity I have in order to help other entrepreneurs.

(Hey, I’m keeping my promise to write a post on this issue.  Although writing this now, after almost five months may not qualify as “soon” )

Which demand is reasonable and which is not?

I fist started thinking about this issue when I read about Nordstrom’s customer service training in Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die.  For those of you outside North America, Nordstrom is a major department store chain that is famous for its excellent customer service.  It’s a high end department store.

On page 73 (BTW this book itself is a great read.  A must read for writers), there are some stories that are meant to illustrate the extraordinary customer services by “Nordie” (Nordstrom’s customer service representatives) such as:

• The Nordie who cheerfully gift wrapped products a customer bought at Macy’s
• The Nordie who refunded money for a set of tire chains – although Nordstrom doesn’t sell tire chains

Now as you can see in my aforementioned post, I take customer service seriously.  I don’t really know if it’s Japanese thing like some commenters pointed out, but anyway, I do.  I believe money follows when I deliver value, and customer service is a significant part of any business offer.

But these examples are a bit different.  Why does Nordstrom refund money for something it didn’t sell?  Is it because this customer makes other lots of purchases?  Or is it because he made a fuss?  Do they do this to anyone who wants money for unwanted tire chains?

And where does that money come from?  From other customers, of course.  So Nordstrom is spending their profit made off from honest customers and making dishonest customers happy.  Is this really an example of outstanding customer service?

In my opinion, this is the case of unreasonable customer demand.

How about gift wrapping Macy’s products?  This is less of a problem . . . wrapping paper cost is pretty negligible. Still, Nordstrom is using their employee time to do this.  And their paycheck comes from – again, from the money customers pay.  I think this is a borderline demand that is very close to being unreasonable.

Where is the healthy boundary?

I like Nordstrom, but after reading this story, I was baffled.  And I think twice when I buy anything there.

Personally, I think Nordstrom is making a mistake.  There is great customer service, and there is brown nosing.  I’d be happy to pay for great customer service, like sales reps helping me find the right stuff, but I don’t want to pay for some jerks who make money with lies.

As a business owner, I understand the fear you may have when dealing with the kind of customers who make unreasonable demands.  It’s not just the loss of sale to that customer.  They can spread bad words about your business.  These days, they can post unreasonable reviews on the internet and affect tons of unsuspecting prospects.  And people who make unreasonable demands are likely to write unreasonable reviews.  They are good at pushing people’s buttons.

I still think businesses are better off in the long run to have the healthy boundary and make that clear to everyone.  Like clear refund policy.

What we can do as customers to promote and protect good businesses

And I think, as customers, we are better off to protect good businesses that treat all customers fairly. When you see or hear negative reviews, be sure to check the facts.  Contact the business to check if the said problem is true.  Like in any dispute resolution, hearing both sides’ stories is important.  By doing this, you are ultimately protecting yourself and your money from being spent on the few unreasonable customers the businesses have to deal with.

If you automatically sympathize to all the stories of “OMG I got ripped off by that business, they are horrible.”  watch out.  Check if it’s true.  Likewise, don’t just trust the reputation that Nordstrom is a great place of shop.  Check it out for yourself.

The dark manipulative energy

And then, there are people who are not customers, not really prospects, but just want to make fuss.  People who likes to use the dark manipulative energy.

In online world, one way this happens is negative comments.  By negative comments, I don’t mean comments that disagrees.  That can be constructive feedback and I love them.  What I mean is comments with name-calling.

For example, check this out in which the proud Lord Chartland got called prostitute. (It’s the second comment there.)

This is the post James talked about money, and because the word money pushes many people’s buttons, it wasn’t a surprise he got some difficult comments.  Most, however, were trying to come up with good ways to deal with the sensitive issue of pricing.  For example, Tony showed off his peacock feathers and took the side of free offer.  He was disagreeing James but with great logics = great feedback.  But calling James prostitute?  That’s just pointless name calling.

What is this person’s motivation?  He does seem to have bought anything from Men with Pens.  Doesn’t sound like he ever wanted to hire them.  Subscribers are kinda like customers, but still losing one subscriber probably didn’t hurt Men with Pens.  So why is this person doing this?

To make people feel bad?  I guess.  There are souls like that.  Watch out.

The line between seemingly negative feedback and really negative feedback

Knowing the difference between the complains / inquiries we discussed in “Are Customers Stupid?” and the unreasonable demands discussed in this article is wisdom.  As an entrepreneur, we need to be mindful about this.  When you encounter difficult situations, refrain from reacting it – whether the reaction is the “No way” kind of rejection or “Whatever you say” kind of brown nosing.  The first step to solution is to keep your calm.

So what do you think?  If you are an entrepreneur, will you please share how you handle with customers who make unreasonable demands?  And as customers (which, we all are), what do you think about this issue?  Have you ever stood up to protect your favorite business? Do you think some (few, hopefully) customers who make unreasonable demands are hurting you indirectly? (Photo by Denis Collette)

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