True Life Purpose Goes Beyond The Illusion Of Self
(Photo by Kaptain Krispy Kreme)
He has it all – a great job, beautiful wife, healthy kids, big house, nice car. . . yet he is not happy.
Todd at We The Change recently shared his encounter with his old friend. I know many of these people, too. I used to work in the corporate America assisting senior management. They had advanced degrees and high-paying jobs, and were mostly stressed out. You know these people, too, or maybe you are one of them.
If money doesn’t bring happiness and satisfaction, what will?
Money is good. We live in capitalism and we need money to buy comforts. The problem is, once we cover our needs for security and wellness – foods, clothes, roof over our head, insurance, etc. — the more money and stuffs don’t always bring us more satisfaction, but many of us are not aware of this.
Then what will bring true happiness? Well, you actually know the answer deep inside, so I’m going to jump to it: Life Purpose. Without purpose, life is a mere survival struggle or living in a big fat warehouse of stuffs, or somewhere in between. Todd’s friend got everything he could buy (and some more – like a good family), but he doesn’t have the sense of direction that he is heading toward his purpose. This sense of no direction is very disturbing, so he distracts himself in Vegas. How sad . . .
Do you have the sense of direction you are heading toward your purpose?
Even the way you think and spend money changes when you do. When you know your purpose of your life, you see money as a means to an end, not the purpose by itself. So you start spending money on things that support you in your journey to the purpose, like getting services that free up more of your time, or books and classes that better equip you in the journey. And the relative lack of money (again, provided you have the fundamental security and wellness) won’t disturb you so much.
I am talking from experience. As I wrote in Is Becoming An Entrepreneur Harder Than Surviving In A Foreign Country?, I left my comfortable life in Japan to seek higher purpose. At that time, I wasn’t so clear about all this spiritual purpose of life stuff – I just knew I had to do this. And I never looked back.
Do what you love? Follow your bliss? Is that all?
It’s nice to do what you love. It brings certain level of happiness and satisfaction. But it will also bring innate limitations. If you follow your bliss and do something only because you love doing it, what would you do when you face challenges? Maybe you get a harsh criticism. Or maybe you are just tired. You may still love it, but doing it is not much fun on these days. A self-indulgent purpose to do what you love betrays you . . . unless the love is . . .
If you look deeper, you might find that the real reason you love “it” is because it connects you to other people, other lives. For example, I see aspiring musicians in Todd’s comment area. They say they want to sing. Great. Perhaps they like the sensation of singing, their voices, the way their voices mix with the instruments. Now I guess they want people to hear their singing. They love singing, but that is not the end of the process – what they are really seeking is to connect with the audience through their singing. And even change the feelings of the audience, which may mean changing their lives. If they love music not only for their contentment but because of the joy of connecting to others, that is not a self-indulgent purpose – it is probably a true purpose.
Their gift in singing is probably bestowed so that they can use it to fulfill their purpose to touch people’s lives through their singing. So is your unique gift – it indicates the way to your life purpose.
Real satisfaction comes somewhere beyond the boundary of yourself
I am not talking about charities and volunteer work necessarily. We can be of service through our work, either as employee or as entrepreneur, and through a lot of things we do in our lives.
Spiritually we are all connected. It is only an illusion to see myself separate from you and others. I think this is why self-serving purpose is limiting and misleading – true purpose can’t be only about you, it is about how you can serve the universe.
It may sound like a contradiction, but when you become aware of your life purpose that serves not only you but the people around you too, it will bring you joy like no other. It is a warm, expansive feeling. Like all the struggles matter no more.
Take a moment today and think. What do you love doing? What are your gifts? Do they indicate your purpose of life that extends beyond yourself?
I feel so honored to be the first Winning Quote of the Week at Cath Lawson. Please see her post Can You Write a $500 Prize Winning Quote? to see which part of this post was quoted. Thank you, Cath! Also, thanks to Jonathan for including this post in his March Round-up, to Andrea for including this in Carnival of Truth, to Alex for inclusion in Personal development Carnival, to Jirel for inclusion in Carnival of Inspiration and Motivation, to Roger for inclusion in Carnival of Self-Growth, to Carnival of Improved Life for inclusion.
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Comments
Comment from akemi
Time: March 27, 2008, 8:13 pm
Cassidy,
I have explored my soul long and hard, and even had my soul reading, so I’m quite comfortable with my realization of my own purpose, but I will check your website out of respect. Thank you.
Comment from Cath Lawson
Time: March 28, 2008, 2:27 am
Hi Akemi - I’m hoping I’m heading in the right direction now. When I had to give up nursing I felt that I’d lost my purpose but since I began blogging I feel as though I’m heading in the right direction again.
Comment from Walter
Time: March 28, 2008, 3:17 am
Dear Akemi
I’ve been Stumbling the Web for quite some time now and your site drew my interest because You are truly gifted with an insight into being a Human Being more then others would ever hope to become. The years before becoming an adult, we have no sense of direction nor purpose, at times we have come to be so dependent of our holdings from Mother and Father, we feel lost when we step into Adulthood. Am currently 52 yrs old and I now am disabled with a pacemaker, I look back at those yrs and I ask myself : Where was my purpose in life? “. I became a Soldier when I took that first step into Adulthood and I wished that no young person to do the same, now I found my purpose in life and that is to teach at least 1 person to become better and more happy then myself. For now, I have found that being casted aside, is not so bad after what I’ve seen what we Humans do to each other. Drop me a line if you need more insight. Have a very good day, my sweet person.
Comment from Tom Volkar / Delightful Work
Time: March 28, 2008, 4:18 am
Akemi, I’m pleased that you closed asking folks to explore the connection between gifts, work we love and our life purpose. I find the objective of discovering life purpose to be daunting for many. It’s such a big question that it raises doubt even in the asking of it. That’s why I coach folks to find a calling or right livelihood first. It’s an entry point that more can get started with.
Parker Palmer in his excellent book, Let Your Life Speak, talks about how our soul or inner guidance has been giving us hints as to our calling all throughout our lives. Looking back we can actually see themes trying to call to us to get our attention. When we answer these calls by joyfully working, our purpose reveals itself over time.
I’m sure there are many ways that work to end up in the same state of bliss. The important thing is to set the intention and be in active pursuit of your fulfillment and happiness. When we find our deepest gladness – others are served as well. This is an excellent conversation. I’m glad you have raised it.
Tom
Comment from akemi
Time: March 28, 2008, 8:44 am
Cath,
I think you are doing a great service through your blog, serving even more people than you did when you were nursing. Some people seem to think certain jobs are holier and more worthy than other, but I disagree. The best way to serve the world and ourselves is to follow one’s purpose.
Walter,
Thank you for your kind words. I do feel I am gifted with my insights and that is why I blog and coach. I am sorry to hear about your disability and applaud your courage to point out the problem of war. Few people have the guts to discourage the youth from going becoming a soldier (killer).
Have you checked Stephen Hopson’s interview? He was born deaf and now he is a professional motivational speaker. He is a great source of inspiration for me.
Tom,
Seeking one’s true life purpose can be daunting, it is also exciting and of course enormously rewarding. That is why I now coach people and help them in their journey. I am glad you are in the same profession. Question: How do you define calling? I think Calling is the work we do with our purpose, but you think it is just a work before finding a purpose??
Finding one’s purpose is a big project, and at the same time, it can happen in split second, like any spiritual awakening.
Comment from Frank
Time: March 28, 2008, 8:52 am
See the book YOU WERE BORN FOR A REASON http://www.i-ipi.com
It will blow away every theory you have had about the purpose of life.
Comment from Walter
Time: March 28, 2008, 10:38 am
Akemi,
Thank you for your kind words and understanding. I hope to come back and continue my journey with you here, even a Teacher of life needs teaching from his/her students.
Comment from akemi
Time: March 28, 2008, 3:00 pm
Frank,
Thanks for stopping by for your sales.
As an entrepreneur, I understand the importance of sales. My question for you (if you care enough to check back) is: Do you really think it is effective to leave a comment that basically says, “Come to my website and buy my book.”?
Rather, why not say something interesting and add value to the discussion? Then people might check out who you are and what more you have to say. I receive a steady stream of new readers that way.
Walter,
All good teachers keep learning, forever. That can be a part of definition of a good teacher.
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Time: March 30, 2008, 1:03 am
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Comment from Evelyn
Time: March 30, 2008, 11:26 pm
Thanks for sharing your insight. I totally agree that it is important to find one’s life purpose. I see so much sadness in many of my friends today. And a lot of it is due to them not knowing what they really want to do.
Evelyn
Comment from akemi
Time: March 31, 2008, 8:12 pm
Evelyn,
I know, isn’t it sad.
The topic of life purpose is huge, so I will be writing more.
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Comment from MJ
Time: April 14, 2008, 9:31 am
Humans are the only living creatures on the planet for whom our own existence is a problem which we have to solve. This separates us from all other living things. Seems strange doesn’t it. The answer to the purpose of our lives is out there. It was revealed in 1974. See for yourself. Go to http://www.whyyouarehere.org
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Time: April 25, 2008, 9:04 am
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Comment from cassidy
Time: March 27, 2008, 5:53 pm
There’s a website you should definitely check out, its called The One Question (http://www.theonequestion.com). Its just about this - finding purpose in life and has a free life purpose test too.